Kai was looking for scripts he could pretend were his own. Kai likely wouldn’t insist he got full credit for watering the plants or keeping his schedule organized.
“Kori? Talk to me. I’m getting afraid.”
She nestled closer to him because somehow in the safety of the darkness it seemed all right to cuddle. Especially with a man who wasn’t scared of saying he was afraid. This was one of the things she adored about Kai. He was open with his feelings. She could trust that he was always honest with her. “Afraid of what?”
“Afraid that you’re going to push me away because of what happened tonight. I don’t want that. I enjoyed our scene, but if it scared you that much, I won’t ask you to play again. This relationship is important to me.” His fingers moved over her, running across her hair.
This was what she’d missed earlier, the connection, the sweet intimacy. She’d been wrong to run away. Kai just wanted the connection that came from a scene. That was all. “I wasn’t thinking of pushing you away. I was wondering if it wouldn’t make sense for us to be play partners.”
He moved, his lips brushing her forehead in a sweet gesture of affection. “I think that makes complete sense. We’re obviously well matched. I haven’t met anyone who needs me the way you do. I call myself a sadist, but I don’t really want to cause pain that isn’t necessary. I suppose in the strictest sense that makes me more a rough Dom than a sadist. I enjoy the play. I sometimes think I need it so the part of me that gets fulfilled by hurting someone doesn’t take over my life. I can keep it at bay, be the man I want to be. Lately I haven’t…well, let’s say I haven’t fed the beast and I worry he’s coming out in little ways. I’m short with everyone if I don’t think about what I say.”
She understood. She’d spent years keeping everyone at arm’s length because there was a part of her that she’d hidden away. It was out now and the choice was to accept what she needed or run away again. “I think we can make it work. This relationship is important to me, too.”
So important. They could make this work. They could stay friends. She played with friends all the time.
“We need rules.”
Rules. Kai was a big fan of rules. At least he wasn’t talking about a contract at this point. The idea of signing a contract again made her antsy. “Sure, we can talk about some common sense rules in the morning.”
He would likely want to talk about compartmentalizing. He would want to keep the play strictly to the club and that was fine with her.
He was quiet for a moment. “Thank you for telling me why you worry.”
It had actually felt good to tell him. It made it easier for her to tell him other things. “I knew your brother in Los Angeles. I worked for a production company before I came out here. Strictly professional. I didn’t date him or anything.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Maybe it makes me a bad guy, but I’m glad you didn’t date him. My brother and I have history when it comes to the women in our lives. I think I push away women I could care about because he slept with my fiancée. I thought I’d gotten over it, but now I have to wonder. I wish he hadn’t come here.”
He was not practicing what he preached. “Hey, you’re the one who always says you have to face your issues. I think Jared is one big issue for you.”
His chest moved as he chuckled. “But if I’d faced him tonight, I would be arguing with him instead of being warm and in bed with you, so in this case deflection works in my favor. Go to sleep. We’ll deal with all of this in the morning. It’s going to be all right. We’re going to be all right. You’ll see.”
Nothing had to change except she got to cuddle up with the most beautiful man she’d ever met.
One day he would meet the right sub. One day he wouldn’t need her anymore and he would want to be with someone who could fulfill all his needs, every one of his sick and glorious desires.
But for now she could find some peace with him. She moved her leg up, putting her thigh over his…what the hell was that?