moment I just couldn't form the words. Once again, I found myself wanting to lash out, but the desire not to hurt her anymore outweighed my need to protect myself.
“Pause? Can we pause this?” The minute I asked the question, she stepped away from me, moving out of my reach so far that I had to take a few steps towards her in order to grab her hand. “I will tell you. Everything. I will tell you it all. I just can’t right now. Will you give me a beat?”
I wasn’t sure what I would do if she said no. I would probably drop to my knees and begin blurting out every dark secret like a madman. But when she said “yes” instead, the weight of the entire world lifted from my shoulders.
At least for a moment.
Chapter 25
“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” ― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
Madison
“Lucky Charms, the breakfast of champions.” Kyler dipped the spoon in our shared cereal bowl and zoomed it to me like an airplane.
I shook my head, but took the bite, thankful for the crunch and rush of sweetness on my tongue. “The perfect pairing with this mystery coffee.”
I held up the cup of what I was pretty sure was used grounds before they’d run through the drip machine again.
“Hey, coffee isn’t my strong suit.”
“But this cereal is on point,” I teased positively. “I wonder what Jane Eyre would have done if Mr. Rochester had brought her Lucky Charms for breakfast in bed.”
“Oh, she would definitely call them the best charms of her life, don’t you agree?” He leaned in, mischief lighting up his eyes as he snagged the next bite for himself.
“The very best. Cathy, on the other hand…” This time I snagged the spoon myself as I waited for him to give me his opinion on the matter.
“Oh,” he rolled his eyes, “Cathy would have thrown them right back in Heathcliff’s face like a petulant child.”
“A child, huh?” I shook my head. “A woman who speaks her mind is a child, hmm, Sinclair?” I was joking, but his eyes flashed dark for a beat.
“Nope. Newsflash, little mouse, I love you even more when you’re petulant.” He set the nearly empty cereal bowl on the table and pulled me into his arms, laying me back on the bed behind us. “It’s the childish part I protest.” He didn’t give me room to reply, only pressed his lips to mine in a slow, tender kiss.
I hummed softly in his mouth, loving this lighthearted side of him more than I wanted to admit.
“Can I show you someplace?”
I smiled against his lips, eager to spend more time with him when he was soft and gentle like this. “Yes. But I have to check in at home first. Mom will start to worry. Can we meet up later?”
“Perfect.” He dropped kisses on the apples of my cheeks before lifting me out of bed and setting me on my feet. I enjoyed the warmth of his arms a moment longer before backing away, breaking our connection and trying to rattle the sense of sheer elation Kyler stirred inside of me. “I miss you already, Mad.”
I didn’t reply, only blew him a kiss as I backed out of the door, before turning and clutching my bag to my chest, an unstoppable smile splitting my cheeks. By the time I’d crossed the lawn, my sneakers were wet as I trudged through the grass to the house. I swung the door wide and saw Mom perched in the kitchen on her usual chair. “Morning.”
“Hi, sweetheart. Have a good night?”
“It was fun,” I breathed, noncommittally, sliding into the chair across from her. Visions of Kyler’s nightmare hung at the edges of my vision. “Mom, you got a second?”
“For you? Always.” She slid a chair closer to her, patting the leather-cushioned seat with her hand. “I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve chatted.”
I slid into the chair and smiled at her. “When I was young, I remember you used to have nightmares.” I didn’t know how I should approach any of it, so I just blurted out my question. “What happened?”
My mother’s eyes nailed mine, her hands gripping her coffee mug tighter. “What made you think of that?” she asked, casting her eyes directly at me.
I shrugged. “I didn’t sleep well