unmoving, with the shock of her silky flesh against mine. I brushed the tip of my tongue along the seam, probing gently before I got greedy and pushed my way in with force. Her body swayed against mine, relaxing when my hands slid up her arms, over her shoulders and then grazed her bare clavicle.
“Kyler…” My name was so wispy on her lips I nearly lost my mind.
I groaned in her mouth, thrusting my tongue deeper, tasting her in deft strokes, demanding and wild, angry with her for making me feel this way. She tasted so good, I hated that I liked everything about her so much.
“Say it again,” I hushed, thumbs stroking the arch of her neck.
Shudders of desire prickled her skin before she whispered again, “Kyler…”
I felt my fucking heart lodge in my throat, overwhelming sensations vibrating through every part of me.
Because of her.
The mouse.
“Jesus.” The cold truth of us doused my senses. “Jesus Christ, what was I thinking?”
I dropped her face from my palms, missing her silky skin under my fingers instantly. I shook my head, unable to look her in the eye before backing away, violent huffs of breath surging through my lungs before I spun, fighting the urge to storm out of my own house. I didn’t care where I went, as long as it took me as far away from the mouse as I could get.
A chill of hate soaked my bones like my favorite blanket.
“You should go.” I crossed to the opposite side of the kitchen. The look on her face was a medley of pain, shock, lust and hate. I hoped the hate would win out and she would stay the fuck away from me.
I was fucked up, complicated. She was something good in the world. I would just ruin her--destroy her, until she was nothing. Her light would be ground up into dust under the heavy hand of my issues.
The tears streaming down her face made me feel like the monster I was. I wanted to go to her, to tell her I was sorry but the truth was, she wasn’t broken yet, she was just bent, and if I went to her, I would eventually break her into a thousand tiny pieces.
Solidifying me as an asshole forever.
“Please leave.” The words softly flowed from my lips, my eyes glued on her shattered face.
I was an asshole.
“You have some serious issues, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know. Now get your shit and leave me alone.” When she didn’t move, I opened the front door, gesturing to her to leave. “Now.”
She fumbled her way towards me and ran out. Leaving me alone, exactly what I’d wanted. But as soon as she left, I felt the warmth disappear and the chill rise through my entire body.
15
“I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul.” ― Bram Stoker, Dracula
Madison
The fall leaves evaporated, dissolving softly into a blanket of pure, angel-white snow. I’d managed to keep myself busy, pouring all my energy into my studies. Kyler turned nineteen. Little fanfare was had, and I only found out that night at dinner when Monica announced that she’d offered to order him a cake to celebrate, but he’d declined by slamming the door of the pool house in her face. A fight began then, with Tamlin accusing her mother of being cold and uncaring, and Monica complaining about how spoiled both of her children became despite her best efforts.
Kyler’s birthday was an unhappy one, had by all, and he’d avoided it completely, his motorcycle parked outside the pool house all day and most of the night.
I avoided all the Sinclairs over the coming months, even giving Tamlin space, splitting my time between the library and the guesthouse and avoiding as many family dinners as possible. My mother was kept busy most days and nights, always with Mrs. Sinclair, their heads joined together, thick as thieves.
I’d avoided Kyler since the night he’d kissed me and then discarded me like trash. I wanted nothing to do with him and the whiplash he brought with him. Calling Kyler a head case was the understatement of the century.
Most of my nights were spent eating dinner alone at the kitchen table, followed by cuddling in my bed with a book before drowsiness took over and I drifted into a fitful sleep.
I was shocked when I woke to the sound of tapping on the front door one night. Turning