would be over the moon to have Sophia as a daughter-in-law. And she is really lovely—Sophia, I mean. And you two looked great together.”
“Frankie—” he tried again, reaching for me, but I was backpedaling and heading for the stairs hoping to get away from him before any more inane ridiculousness spilled out of my mouth.
“Um, sorry, look at the time,” I said looking at my wrist where there was no watch. I’d never worn a watch in my life, but it was what people did, look at their wrists. I even tapped the bare skin for good measure. “I forgot I have an appointment, so I need to go. And don’t you have to meet with the king too? So, um, look, I need to go. Bye.”
I turned and practically sprinted for the stairs, barely stopping to pick up my shoes before starting the long climb back to the top. Lucas could catch me if he wanted to. His legs were infinitely longer than mine, so I pushed myself into a jog, praying I didn’t slip and fall on the unevenly hewn stones under my feet. My most prominent thought—apart from not tripping and breaking my neck—was getting as far away from Lucas as I possibly could.
I didn’t look over my shoulder to see if he was following. I honestly didn’t know whether or not I wanted him to chase me. On the one hand, if he tried to catch me, this entire thing would only get infinitely more uncomfortable, but if he didn’t come after me it was confirmation he didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about him. Not that I needed any more confirmation on that point. This entire little ‘chat’ had been all about him letting me down gently. The kiss yesterday afternoon had to have been an anomaly. A drunk anomaly which quickly sobered him up. He must have realized instantly that it could never work between us, which was what he would have said to me last night if the king hadn’t called him in for a meeting.
Ugh. I was such an idiot for thinking he was about to profess his love for me. Things like that didn’t happen to me. I wasn’t that girl. I was the good-time girl who was great for a laugh and someone you could be friends with, but I wasn’t the girl men like Lucas fell for. I knew that—I’d known it all along—and yet I’d still let myself fall for him. But no more. I had my research to do and then I was gone. We could be Facebook friends and eventually this feeling of heartbreak would fade.
That’s what I hoped would happen, anyway.
Lucas
I tossed my pen on the desk and ran my hands through my hair as I exhaled with frustration. This morning with Frankie had not gone well, nor had the meeting I’d had with the king afterward. I was unfocused and distracted and I knew I was wasting everyone’s time, but I just couldn’t get all my thoughts together, not with the way Frankie and I had left things.
I felt like a fool. Frankie seemed to deliberately misunderstand what I was trying to say. It was obviously her way of letting me down gently without actually letting me make a complete idiot of myself.
She’d brushed off the kiss as if it were nothing. It wasn’t nothing to me and I really wasn’t that drunk. I was maybe a little tipsy, just enough so that my usual anxiety took a backseat. I kissed her because I wanted to and I thought it was good…the best damned kiss I’d ever had, if I were honest, and Frankie refused to even acknowledge it.
And what did I do? I did what I always did and backed off. I didn’t push. I didn’t even chase after her when she fled from me, leaving me standing on the beach watching my future run away with her.
But what choice did I have? She obviously didn’t want me. Not like that, at least. No, Frankie wanted me as her friend, just like I’d been for years. It wasn’t her fault my feelings changed. It wasn’t her fault I wanted more, and so I let her go because having Frankie in my life as a friend was better than not having her in my life at all…right?
I growled low in my throat and tugged at my hair once more. I didn’t know if that was true anymore. I didn’t know