ever really be mine if I didn’t take the chance and bare my heart and soul to her?
But what if I did? What if I tore my heart from my chest and presented it to her, would she stomp on it and leave me for dead? No, Frankie wouldn’t do that. No, she would be more likely to take my heart, shove it back into my chest and tape it closed with duct tape, firmly cementing me forever in the friend zone.
Francesca
I knew what Lucas was going to say and I just…I couldn’t let him say it. I just couldn’t bear it if he said the kiss was a mistake. It hadn’t felt like a mistake and it wasn’t a mistake for me, but I would die, just die, if Lucas told me that’s how he saw it.
And he looked so damned sincere, like he was really trying to let me down gently. He was such a nice guy, and I knew, I just knew, he was too good for me and yet I’d still let myself get caught up in the magic of the lie. Somewhere along the way, I’d let down my guard and had fallen for Lucas and if I didn’t shut this down, I would embarrass both of us. So I laughed.
“Not that drunk?” I snorted even as my heart was breaking inside. “You were three sheets to the wind, my friend. I don’t even know how you got it together before dinner. I thought for sure you would pass out face down on your bed while Maddox was trying to get you dressed.”
Lucas frowned at me and I had to look away. He was looking at me so intently that I was sure he would see through the lie and see how I really felt, and I was bound and determined for him to never find out.
“That was nothing,” he eventually said and although he was trying to inject a casual tone into his words, I heard the strain. “I was a hell of a lot drunker the night I proposed to you.”
We both froze for a moment, his words sucking the air out of our lungs as we looked at each other. I swallowed thickly and widened my smile, which I was sure made me look like a deranged Pomeranian.
“Which was probably why you proposed to me,” I said with a forced chuckle. “You would have had to be drunk off your backside to even think of me that way.”
I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see the relief in his eyes. I didn’t want to see his shoulders relax as he realized I wasn’t taking the kiss seriously.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said. “I can see you here, being a lady of the court. You and Dorian sure seem to have hit it off.”
I snorted, a genuine one this time. Me? A lady of the royal court? He had to be kidding. And me with Dorian? Well, that was laughable. As much as Dorian and I were friends, that man loved himself far too much to ever fall in love with anyone else. Besides, I didn’t have nearly enough money or breeding to even come close to being on Dorian’s radar.
“Hardly,” I said. “I doubt very much anyone would see me as a lady, let alone one of the royal court. I’m a bartender.”
“No, bar tending is what you do, it’s not who you are,” Lucas said. “And the Kabiero court would be all the better for your inclusion in it.”
“But that’s not going to happen, is it?” I said, finally turning around to look at him. “Because this is all fake and a lie. I’m not really your fiancée and I never will be part of this court or any other.”
“Frankie—”
“No, it’s fine. It’s good. Perfect, in fact, because I have to go home and finish this damned Ph.D. and graduate and then I have to find a job, and as much as I love Kalopsia and all the people I’ve met, I hardly think there are any sociology jobs available. Besides, Drinks is holding my job until I get back—“ a small lie Lucas didn’t have to know about “—and you have so much to do here and the last thing you want is me hanging around and cramping your style.” I smiled brightly. “I think you and Sophia would be fantastic together and she is definitely not the gold-digger your mother was worried about.” I laughed. “Your mother