her name and reached out a hand for her as if she were there, she…just couldn’t. He was hyperventilating, his breathing coming fast and short. He was going to hurt himself. He can’t die.
“I’m a fucking idiot.” He doesn’t love me. But that doesn’t stop how I feel about him. With an exhausted sigh, she sat down on the edge of the bed and shook his shoulder. “Simon. Wake up.”
He jolted awake with a grunt and rocketed up to sitting. The sudden movement had her recoiling from him to keep from getting socked in the mouth. He buried his head in his hands, fisting the black strands in his fingers. “No, no, no!” he moaned, wailing. “No more. Let me down. Let me down!”
“Simon. Simon, snap out of it—” She touched his shoulder. That was a mistake. He rounded on her, slamming her against the wood wall so hard her vision flashed white. His hand was around her throat, and she couldn’t breathe. She could only sputter and claw at his wrist to try to pull him away.
His face was a mask of rage. Those black-red-white eyes looked at her with no recognition, only hatred. It was a long moment before he blinked. “Cora?” He let go of her and shook his head. “Cora, what’s happened?”
She shoved away from him, scrambling out of the bed, landing with a thump in the aisle of her boxcar. She coughed, trying to clear her throat enough to breathe. Finally, she could. She felt woozy. She felt awful.
She felt betrayed.
Not because he lashed out at her. But because of everything. Because of what he had said. Because she felt small, weak, alone, and afraid.
“Cora, please, don’t cry.”
She didn’t even realize she was crying.
It happened so frequently now, she supposed she was getting used to it.
He slid to the edge of the bed and sank to his knees in front of where she was sitting. “Cora…come here. Please. Let me explain.”
Scooting farther away from him, she climbed to her feet and headed for the door. She needed some air. She needed some space. She needed to get out.
“Cora. Come back here.”
The fact that she was only wearing PJs be damned. Throwing open the door, she was down the stairs when she heard him shout.
“Get back here!”
No. She didn’t know where she was going, but she was not going anywhere near him. He could follow her, but she was pretty sure he wasn’t going to tear after her in the nude. Mostly.
As she stormed past, she saw Anastasia the Diva, who was smoking on her front steps. She had one of those long cigarette holders. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Go fuck a brick, lady.”
The woman laughed as she passed but didn’t retort.
Cora headed out into the park. She walked through abandoned rides, shuttered stalls, and silence. There was no way of knowing what time it was. It was impossible to tell with no sky overhead. The only thing fully lit in the park was the tower.
The tower she saw in her dream. She knew that was where she had been.
When she had stepped into the void, answering the call of the Faire, she had expected another chat session with Clown. Well, with the Faire wearing Clown’s face. But instead, she found herself standing on a wooden stairwell that ascended to a platform high overhead and descended into the darkness below.
She had appeared just in time to hear Simon’s rant. Even though she had clearly missed the first portion of what must have been an epic argument between him and someone else, she still got the section that mattered. “Having her there to warm my bed and wet my cock is all that I will ever want from her. I am Simon the Puppeteer! I do not love Cora Glass, and I never will!”
The words echoed in her mind. She didn’t fight the tears that fell and just let them come. Why bother wiping them away? They’d just be replaced in a few seconds anyway.
Truthfully, she was mad at herself more than at Simon. She was a fool for letting herself get sucked into believing she might mean something to him.
Away. That’s where she wanted to go. But where? Where could she escape from the carnival and circus trappings around her? Somewhere far from all the stripes, grinning painted faces, and tents. There was only one place she could think of. She made it to the edge of the park and walked into the inverted forest.
It was still unnerving