rely on him to translate the millennial-speak for me. Even though I was technically one, I was woefully out of the loop since I spent close to zero time online or on social media.
“What exactly is FOMO?” I was pretty sure I’d heard the phrase before, but I’d never stopped to think about the context.
“Fear of missing out. Are you regretting turning down the role?” The dark-haired guy was very straightforward and honestly a little bit intimidating.
I opened my mouth to tell him I absolutely didn’t regret it, but what came out was, “You’re right. I do regret turning it down.”
Because, like my father noted, it had been a very long time since I’d been excited by much of anything. I’d gotten comfortable sleepwalking my way through the mundane, safe, and predictable days because that was the only way I knew how to keep myself from experiencing any more hurt. I was certain my heart couldn’t take another hit, so I’d stopped letting myself care about anything.
Salinger’s head whipped around, and even in the dim light of the car, I could see the way his dark eyes glimmered. “What did you just say?”
I blew out a long breath and pressed my palms together tightly. “I love the script, just like you said. I also love the part, and I’m touched that the character was written for me.” No one had ever done that before. “I turned it down because I honestly felt like that was my only option, but I’m starting to wonder if I was shortsighted.”
Salinger turned his body slightly in my direction and his brother leaned forward with his hands on his knees. I should’ve felt like they were closing in on me. Instead, I felt oddly secure and protected. It’d been a long time since I had anyone watch me with such unguarded excitement and hope.
I looked at Salinger and cocked my head to the side, considering him seriously as the city whizzed by outside. “Someone I trust completely pointed out to me that, over time, I’ve given a pass to pretty much everyone else who screwed me over back when I was blacklisted because of you. For some reason, I managed to accept their actions and move on but was still stubbornly holding you, a kid, accountable. You were just as much of a victim as I was back then, but I was too caught up in my own issues to realize it. I don’t want to be the type of person who doesn’t grow and evolve as I learn new life lessons. I don’t want to be someone who is stuck in a place where I’m constantly allowing myself to be hurt by memories and the mistakes I made. I want to believe people can change for the better, so I do feel sorry that I shut down the idea of working with you ever again before really giving it careful consideration. I think it would physically pain me to see another actress play that role.”
“So, are you telling me you want to reconsider?” Salinger’s voice lifted like he was carefully optimistic.
However, his face fell, and he looked heartbroken when a moment later I muttered, “No, I don’t want to reconsider.” His brother swore loudly on the other side of the car, and Salinger practically wilted in the seat next to me. I put a hand up and told them, “I want to do it. I want to take the role, and I want to be an investor in the project.”
I’d already thrown caution to the wind when I kissed him, might as well go all in while I was acting totally against my normal conduct. If I was going to ride the crazy train, I might as well take it all the way to the station.
“Are you serious?” The question came from both guys nearly in unison. Salinger looked like he’d just won the lottery. Jeno looked highly suspicious and doubtful. I could see he was worried I was just playing with his brother, so I rushed to assure them both. “I want to do it, but I have to tell you in advance: I’m going to have a million-and-one stipulations in the contract.” I looked Salinger dead in the eyes. “You’re going to have to sign your life away, Dolan. I won’t do it unless there is an ironclad agreement on your end that this project isn’t going to go off the rails if you do.”
Salinger opened his mouth to immediately agree, but