to focus on work. I was working doubles five days a week, and when I wasn’t at work I was studying new recipes. I told him the timing wasn’t good for a relationship. And that was that.” I scare myself with how quickly that came.
“You are a crappy liar, Felicity Stone.” She stands up and leans over to place a kiss on my cheek. “But I love you anyway.” When we reach the top of the stairs, she glances at me from over her shoulder, a playful look swimming in her eyes. “Well, I guess if you don’t want him, he’s up for grabs.” She giggles and tosses her purse onto the table.
Even though I know it was a joke, her statement bothers me. Just because Tanner and I can’t be together, doesn’t mean I want to see him with anyone else either. Childish? Maybe. But I don’t care.
“Kidding,” she chirps. “I’m on a man break right now.”
“A man break?” I ask.
She turns around to face me. “Yeah,” she says, running her fingers through her hair. “I fell for the last guy and…” She pulls in a sharp breath and tosses her coat onto the sofa. “Anyway, I just need a little time right now.”
“If you want to talk, I’m here,” I tell her.
“Thanks, but I’m not going to bother you with this right now. You have enough going on.” She turns around and fusses with her hair, pulling it up into a ponytail. “Love you, girly. See you in the morning.”
I sit on the edge of the bed, anxiously waiting for her to go to sleep. My knee is bouncing to its own rhythm, and I’m picking the skin around my cuticles. Please, just go to bed.
The reflection of her bedroom light disappears after a few minutes, but the sound of crying fills the air again. Something is really hurting her.
Something is really hurting me.
The second the cries stop, I grab the keys and jet out the door. As I round the bottom step of the first flight, Aspen’s voice echoes down the stairs. “Where are you going?” she croaks
Crap. Crap. Crap.
“Nowhere,” I yell in a whisper. “I just need some fresh air. I’ll be back in a minute.” I’m thankful when she turns around and closes the door without further questions.
The air is cooler tonight; the thick clouds are locking in a misty breeze. I wish I’d grabbed the sweatshirt Aspen lent me yesterday. I pop a cigarette into my mouth and light it quickly so I can wrap my arms back around my goose-bump covered skin.
A fast pace and the warmth in my lungs seem to do the trick as I return to the quiet park. I lay in the grass and my focus is drawn to the sky. I stare through the red hues that only I can see. I can’t figure out how my mind is creating the illusion, but it’s like the fire is branded there. Like when I stare at something so long that I can still see it when I close my eyes. That has to be what it is.
When the goose bumps surface again, I shove off the dewy grass and find myself standing in the in front of Lady. Behind Lady is Hayes, his hands in his pockets and the newly-familiar smirk dimpling his cheeks. “Guess you don’t take a stranger’s advice too seriously, huh?”
“I march to the beat of my own drum, I guess.” My smile comes so naturally, yet uncomfortably at the same time. I have this sense of guilt for feeling anything other than sadness right now. Blake is dead. I have no right to be happy. “Come here often?”
He comes a little closer…a lot closer, actually. He’s only a couple feet away from me now. “Every night for the past six months. I don’t know. I guess it’s something about the quiet after a long day. Kind of like a night-cap I guess.” In the glow of his flashlight, I think he notices the goose bumps on my arms. He removes his coat and hands it to me. “You’re freezing. Take this.”
“Oh, I’m fine really. But thank you, that’s very sweet.” As if Lady understands what we’re talking about, her body rubs up against my leg, nuzzling her warm head under my hand.
“Please take it,” he presses. “I mean this in a nice way, but you kind of look like hell. You’re shivering, and have you been crying? The least I can do is offer you