talk about something—probably the book Heather was reading—and then Jessie had gone over to join in.
Ken’s heart ached in his chest as he watched her talk to his daughters. The girls liked her. That much was clear. And it really seemed like Madeline might like them. She wasn’t faking. Ken was a pretty good judge of people, and he knew Madeline really well by now. He was sure he’d be able to tell if she was just being polite or making up to them as a strategy. She was smiling authentically, her gray eyes warm and invested.
He wanted her to like his daughters.
He wanted her to love them.
He wanted her to love him too.
The knowledge hit him like a truck, nearly knocking him off his feet. He’d known his feelings were too caught up in her. He’d known from the beginning that he wanted more than she was willing to offer. He’d known for a while now that he was in too deep.
But he’d never let himself acknowledge exactly what had happened.
He’d fallen in love with her.
When all she’d ever wanted from him was rebound sex.
“You okay?” a soft voice came from behind him.
Caught off guard, he jerked dramatically and turned to see Katie leaning against the wall beside him. She was an attractive woman with brown hair, brown eyes, and freckles.
“Yeah,” he said, controlling his thoughts quickly. “Fine. Why?”
“Because you’re pining a little too much, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want anyone else to see that.”
Ken blinked. “What?”
“Pining.” Katie nodded toward where Madeline was still talking to their daughters. “You were pining.”
“I wasn’t—” He broke off the lie when she gave him an impatient look. With a flare of fear, he looked around as if he might be able to tell who else had seen what he’d just unconsciously revealed. “Is it that obvious?”
“No. Not at all. In fact, I wouldn’t have been able to tell unless I’d already had a clue.” At Ken’s unspoken question, she added, “Mrs. McCracken mentioned you’ve had a nightly visitor for a while now.”
“Shit,” he muttered, hating that he was flushing but unable to stop himself. “Does everyone know now?”
“I don’t think so. She likes you, and I guess she knows you want to keep it secret. She told me she didn’t want to gossip, but you know her. She couldn’t help herself from telling someone. And I was the someone. I don’t think she’s going to spread it around.”
“Good.” He let out a breath, his crisis instinct relaxing slightly. “We’re not telling people. It’s not... serious.”
He hated the sound of the words. Hated that he needed to say them.
Hated that they were true.
“It sure looks like it’s serious to you. I’ve never seen you looking so totally whipped as you were looking just now.” Katie’s tone was light. Almost teasing.
“I wasn’t supposed to be looking like that,” he admitted. “And I hope to God no one else noticed.”
“Then you better get better control over yourself because you’re looking like she’s the only sun in your sky.”
He bit back a groan. What the hell was he supposed to do here? He felt hopelessly and endless trapped.
“Why not make it serious?” Katie asked in a more sober tone. “I mean, it’s obviously what you want, so why not make it serious?”
“It’s not what she wants.”
“You know that for sure?”
He nodded, unable to look his ex-wife in the eye as he made the admission.
“Well, that sucks. But listen to me for a minute, Ken.”
He turned to face her, having no idea what she was about to say.
“Look, I know it’s not my business, and it’s probably kind of weird for me to give you advice like this. But I was married to you for a long time. And you spent a lot of that time trying to do what you thought I wanted instead of being honest about what you wanted. And that wasn’t good for us. It didn’t make you happy, and it didn’t make me happy either. It’s not an equal relationship if you’re always trying to hold things together you think are about to break. If you’re trying to control everything instead of having faith in the other person. You need to trust that the relationship is strong enough to hold up to who you really are and what you really want. And if it’s not, then it’s not the right relationship for you.”
Ken was shaken. He couldn’t speak immediately. His throat burned, and he couldn’t take a full breath. It