him! I like him, and I’m hot for him, but I don’t love him. But I’m really enjoying this. He makes me feel good about myself, and I haven’t felt that way for a long time.”
“If he makes you feel so good about yourself, then that seems like there’s potential for more than just sex.” Ria was frowning, clearly trying to understand. “Right?”
“No, it’s not right. He makes me feel good about myself because there’s not all the weight of a real relationship. If it was serious, everything would change. I don’t want it to change. I don’t want to be his girlfriend. I don’t.”
“But Ken wants it to change?”
“No. I don’t think so. I mean, he’s never said he does.” Her stomach did a few flip-flops at the possibility of Ken being discontent with what they had.
“Then what did you get in an argument about if you’re both happy with the way things are?” Skye asked.
“I don’t even know. He’s never cared as much as I have about other people knowing about us, and he wanted to know why it’s such a big deal that Jacob found out.”
“Why is it a big deal?” Ria’s voice was still careful, like she was feeling her way through a minefield.
Madeline groaned and leaned back against the table. “Why do you think it’s a big deal? If too many people find out, then the whole town will know. And he’s the sheriff! Everyone will be assuming we’re engaged or something, and then they’ll all be talking about me and analyzing me and wondering what the hell he sees in me and then debating about what we’re even doing together. It would be horrible. A casual fling could never stand up against the force of that kind of gossip. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. If everyone finds out, it will be over. And I don’t want it to be over yet.” She was babbling and couldn’t seem to stop. She bit her lip and took a few deep breaths, willing the tears out of her voice and eyes.
It didn’t work. A couple of them streamed out, sliding down her cheeks and plopping onto her shirt.
“Oh no, Madeline,” Skye said, scooting over so she could wrap an arm around her shoulders. “It’s not that bad. It’s not going to be like that.”
“How do you know?”
“Because right now only I, Ria, and Jacob know. Right?”
“Right.” Madeline sniffed.
“Well, we’re not going to say a word. Right?”
“Right,” Ria confirmed. “Obviously, Skye and I won’t, and Jacob won’t breathe a word about it either. I promise he won’t. Everyone isn’t going to find out from us.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She let out a shaky breath.
“But you’re not going to be able to keep something like this secret forever. We won’t tell, but eventually someone who isn’t so discreet is going to find out. So it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be prepared for that.” Ria’s eyes were sober. Very kind.
“I know. I’ll try. I know this can’t last forever. These kinds of things never do. But it’s making me happy. He’s making me happy. And I don’t want to give him up yet.”
Madeline saw Ria and Skye exchanging glances, and she knew how to read it. They weren’t convinced she was being honest with herself about her feelings.
The idea riled her up a little, but she worked through it. They didn’t have to fully understand. They loved her and wanted the best for her and they would try to comprehend and believe her.
It was enough.
“So what are you going to do?” Skye asked. “Are you going to see him tonight? Was it a bad enough argument that you won’t see each other right away?”
“I don’t know. It was hardly an argument. It was just... tense. But I can’t wait all night not knowing what he’s thinking about everything, so I’ll need to talk to him tonight. He usually texts when he’s done with work. He’ll probably come over.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been having hot sex with Sheriff Harley all this time and you’ve never told us!” Skye was grinning now.
“I don’t actually think about him as Sheriff Harley when we’re together.”
“Then how do you think about him? Sheriff Studmuffin?” Skye flashed a glimpse of a dimple.
“No!” Madeline gave the other woman a playful swat. “I think about him as Ken.”
Her cheeks were still flushed. She was still kind of embarrassed about the confession, even to people she loved and trusted as much as she did her friends.
But