stool in the corner of the room. “You’re not annoying at all, Ria. Seriously. I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it. So what did Jacob do now?”
“Nothing really. He was just extra sweet this morning.”
From the particular resonance of the words, Madeline figured Jacob must have been extra sweet in the bedroom. While Madeline wasn’t ready to jump into another relationship right now, she wouldn’t mind some bedroom satisfaction herself.
Immediately she pictured Ken and what she and he might do under the covers. It got her hot and flushed, so she tried to push the visuals out of her mind.
She didn’t say any of that, of course. She just said, “I’m glad he really appreciates you and shows you he does. I never really got much of that from Josh.”
“I know you didn’t,” Ria said, her face sobering. “I sometimes wanted to ask you about it, but you always seemed fine about the relationship, so I figured you were happier than I could see.”
“I wasn’t. I just didn’t... I don’t know. I feel so stupid about it now. I guess I just assumed that was the best I could get, even though I should have known better.”
“It wasn’t anywhere close to the best you can get. A man who really loves you is going to make you feel loved and appreciated. And if he doesn’t, you’re better off without any man at all.”
“I know. I’m actually a lot happier now—like I’ve shed a huge burden. I want to just enjoy the freedom. To tell you the truth, I might not want to do the girlfriend thing again.”
“At all?”
“I don’t know. Not yet anyway. I want to be myself. Not some guy’s girlfriend. Is that bad?”
“No. It’s not bad at all. Maybe you’ll change your mind when you recover emotionally, but if you don’t, then that’s fine too. You should enjoy your freedom. Do something just for you. Something you want. You went too long without being able to do that because you were tied to Josh. Be free for a little while. Why shouldn’t you?”
Madeline smiled and shook her head. “Well, the honest answer to that is I’m always brooding over consequences. What if I do what I want and then it turns out to be a mistake?”
“Isn’t that what freedom means? If you’re free to choose, then sometimes you’ll choose wrong. But somehow I doubt that something you really want to do is going to be that wrong. So what if it’s a little reckless? You’ve never let yourself be reckless.”
“Yeah.” Madeline’s heart had started to pound as she mentally moved closer to a decision. Ria was smart and generous and knew her as well as anyone in the world. She wouldn’t advise her to do something stupid. So maybe she was right. Maybe she was allowed to throw off the shackles of responsibility and good sense for a little while.
Maybe she was allowed to do what she wanted for once in her life.
Even if what she wanted was screwing the sheriff.
“So what are you thinking?” Ria asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. You have something in mind. Something you want to do. Is it so bad you can’t tell me?”
“It’s not bad. At least I don’t think so. It just feels... I don’t know... private. For now.” Madeline licked her lips. She didn’t normally keep secrets from Ria and Skye, and she felt kind of bad about doing so now. She was almost tempted to admit it, but something kept holding her back.
“Okay. I get it. You’ll tell us when you’re ready.” Ria’s dark eyes were sincere. “If it’s something you want to do, don’t hold back just because you’re afraid. You deserve good things, Madeline. So let yourself have them.”
For no good reason, Madeline’s throat tightened with emotion. “Thanks,” she managed to say.
She did want this. She wanted to have sex with Ken. She wanted to really bad.
And she could no longer think of enough good excuses not to.
She chatted with Ria a little longer, and together they talked through the last part of the poem she needed to finish. After she’d written it down, she left the shop and started walking through the downtown streets until she’d reached the oldest residential neighborhood in town.
Several blocks down was a brick ranch house with a big yard and a one-car attached garage. It was Ken’s house. His garage door was open, and his pickup truck was parked inside.
He was home.
She didn’t know what had prompted her