guy at school? Yeah, I read your text. Is he a total babe or somethin’?”
I chuckle and roll over to face the wall, as if to hide a secret crush from the world. “Total babe,” I confirm, grinning.
“So, uh … what’s the problem, exactly? Is he not into dudes?”
“I’m pretty sure the last thing he’d be into is rolling around in a bed with a guy. He wears a leather jacket and these military-style boots, and he looks … mad all the time. Also, he has kind of a bad attitude, I guess.”
“You’re not really selling him that well.” Jimmy chuckles. “Besides, you can’t always tell just by how someone looks. So you said he has a bad attitude. Does he use that attitude on you, too?”
“I … well … yes,” I admit with a chuckle. “He was awful to me.”
“Awful. Huh. Alright, so you want my advice? Here’s what you do, Toby: Ignore him.”
I blink. “What?”
“Don’t give him the time of day. This guy sounds like a punk. And if he’s got an attitude now, how’s he gonna be when you guys have your first adorable fight as real boyfriends? That’s even if he’s into guys. Nah, ignore him. Trust me. Sounds like bad news.”
I guess when you ask a friend for advice, you shouldn’t have preconceived notions of what that advice will be. But this is not the kind of help I was hoping for. “But what if … what if I want to get to know him? What if he’s just misunderstood? Or—?”
“I don’t mean to be harsh or nothin’, but … you deserve a good boy. Someone who’s more … like you, y’know? Someone who will make you happy, not miserable. Remember what I told you, that big, crazy summer two years back?”
The words are fresh in my mind from that night at the Spruce Ball. ‘Be strong,’ Jimmy told me. ‘Trust your own mind and heart. And when you make a friend, you stick with that friend until the end. Friends are your home away from home, no matter where you are.’
I guess the words are easier to believe when you’ve actually got someone in your life. But now Jimmy’s advice is to avoid that one person I found? To be fair, I don’t know much about Donovan.
Yet. “Yeah, I remember. Make a friend and stick with him.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said, but you gotta make sure it’s the right friend. Bobs, one sec, I’m chattin’ with Toby,” he whispers suddenly, a hand over his phone, muffling his voice. “Yeah, Bobs. I’ll come see it in a sec.” He uncovers the phone. “Bobby says hi, and also he’s being needy and I gotta go. Hold out for the right guy, ‘kay?”
I sigh with frustration. “How will I know who the right one is? You do realize where I live, right? I don’t exactly have a library of beautiful-souled men to choose from.”
“Well, it’s the same ass town I grew up in, so I know a thing or two. Listen, Toby. Be patient. The right guy is someone who makes you a better person, who brings out your best qualities, and who sets your soul on fire.”
I blink. That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person.
“And also,” Jimmy finishes, “he’s a guy who will test you.”
“Test me?”
“Yeah. He’ll test your every nerve, for sure. And listen, I really don’t think this whacko, leather-clad, 90s punk-band reject is it. Take your time, Toby. You’re, what, seventeen?”
“Eighteen as of May.”
“Eighteen as of May,” Jimmy sings back at me, then lets out an amused, musical hoot. “The whole wide world is yours, my man. Get out there and own it. Don’t take no shit. And don’t settle for no attitude-givin’ punk, you hear me?”
I wrestle with the knot of confusion in my chest. “I wish you two lived here.”
“Yeah, yeah, well … you never know. Hey, don’t tell my mama or brother this, but …” He lowers his voice. “Bobs and I are gonna drop in for a surprise visit for Christmas, and we’ve got some big news.”
“Big news? Everyone already knows you’re getting married.”
“No, no. Other big news. Bigger news. Look, Toby, I gotta go or Bobby’ll have my nuts. Or maybe I gotta go so that Bobby can have my nuts. Stay smart, stay cool, and get your dang sleep, boy!”
I laugh. “Goodnight, Jims.”
“Nighters!”
I set my phone on the nightstand, then roll onto my back and stare up at the blades of my ceiling fan