as I sit there letting the minutes crawl by, soon I feel the pesky, dark emotion of doubt settle in—an emotion I think I’ve been keeping at bay all day long, ever since I first saw Vann in the parking lot, leaning against that car. Is this really what I want? For Vann to become a totally different guy, change everything about himself, and don a pair of boots and a big belt buckle? Shake hands with Hoyt and score points in gym class with Julio, two former enemies of his? How does this solve anything? And how can I be sure it will last? What happens when Julio says the wrong thing, or Hoyt decides to antagonize Vann out of jealousy again?
I step out of the theater unnoticed, pull out my phone, and call up the only person who can convince me I’m not crazy. A guy who won’t be won over by any amount of Vann’s apparent charm.
A guy who’s never even met him. “Hey, buddy,” comes Jimmy Strong’s voice when he answers. “Aren’t you still in school? Or is it winter break already? What is it … 1:15 over there?”
“2:15. Seventh period. Look, I’m gonna … ask you something, and I … I just want you to answer me outright. No bull. No sugar. No nice. All business.”
“Uh-oh. You want me to pull out the big guns, huh?”
“The biggest you’ve got.”
“Alright, then. Go ahead, Mr. TBOY. Ask me your somethin’.”
I take a breath, then just let it out: “Do you really think Vann is bad for me?”
There’s a long pause. I hear Jimmy’s signature deep inhale, followed by his long and contemplative exhale. “Y’know, I gotta say, I know a few months ago I told you he was bad news. I mighta called him a 90s punk-band reject or somethin’ like that. And I did imply that you’re just eighteen and got your whole life ahead of you to figure out what you want, or what’s good for you, but …” He chuckles lightly. “Toby, the truth is, I met the love of my life in high school. He was right there under my nose. I knew it then. I just didn’t have the right words for it. Who am I to talk down to you like some child who doesn’t know better? You do know better, Toby. If this guy has your heart, if he shares your soul, if he makes you feel like you can race headlong into any one of your dreams while holdin’ his hand … damn it, Toby, take that first advice I ever gave you to heart, then. You made that special friend. Now you hold on to him ‘til the end … if you think it’s right.”
I lean back against the wall and sigh. There is a deeply happy feeling in my chest, and it’s playing tug-of-war with a big, scary behemoth of worry. I’m on a tightrope teetering between laughter and tears with no idea which way to lean.
“Also, not to pin myself as a total mama’s boy,” Jimmy goes on, “but my mama had a lot to say about Vann after Halloween. I got an earful of it. And despite the big scene at the punch table, all she seemed to take away from that was how protective he was over you, as well as something he said to her upstairs when he was looking for the bathroom.” I hear a breath of him chuckling before he adds, “Sounds like despite his parents working for the mayor’s campaign, my mama’s got a soft spot for your Vann. If she’s taken with him—my critical, heart-of-steel mama—well … I can’t think of a better vote of confidence in all of Spruce, quite frankly.”
I smile to myself, despite my own persistent doubts. “Thanks, Jimmy. I appreciate it a lot. Now I’ve gotta get through the next twenty minutes of waiting until school’s out before I get to see why Vann wants to meet me out by the baseball field.”
“Hopefully not to test your batting average. Bobby says hi!”
“I can’t wait to see you guys when you visit over the break.” I swallow hard and stare down the empty, silent hall. “Assuming I survive the rest of the day.”
“Chin up, High Score Breaker TBOY,” Jimmy exclaims. “I’ve got your back, and so do a whole bunch of goodhearted people in all of Spruce. No matter what happens, you’re never alone.”
Those are the words I’m left with after we hang up. As if