a word of it, and there you had me dropping it all like we’re friends. We’re not friends. Far fucking from it, in fact. Like I’ve told you a million times before, I’m your boss. We screwed. That’s it. Stay out of my business. Stay out of my life. Just leave me the hell alone.”
He was back on the move again, striding through the busy streets as though other pedestrians were skittles, and he didn’t care how many he knocked down. He barged into so many people, I was afraid he was going to get punched in retaliation. Not that it was my problem to worry about. Maybe he was right. Maybe when it came to him I should have just minded my own fucking business.
I must have had a death wish, or something, as again, even as the thoughts swirled in my mind, my feet propelled me toward Raine’s still retreating back. I followed him to the office like a stalker, even running down the stairs to the basement parking garage behind him. I knew he’d have to slow down to use the fingerprint pad to open the door, and I could catch up with him properly then.
Sure enough, he turned to me again, holding the door open.
“Noa, go away. I mean it. I’m so close to losing my shit, you don’t even know.” Funny how he knew my name with no issues when he was pissed at me. Also, funny how he said he was about to lose his shit, when it was quite clear that horse had already bolted.
“I don’t care. Do your worst. I’m not going anywhere.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Are you insane?”
Quite possibly. “Maybe, but I’m still not going anywhere.”
He stepped through the door. “I mean it. Fuck off.”
“And I mean it, also. I’m not leaving. So, you’re going to have to deal with me, and more to the point, you’re going to have to deal with you.”
“What the fuck is that Oprah, Doctor Phil, couch-psychology bullshit supposed to mean?”
“It means that you can shut people out, you can push them away, you can tell me to fuck off, run away from me, all of that shit, but the one person you can’t push away or outrun is yourself. Which means that eventually, you have to deal with the issues that are chasing you, because I’m telling you, they always catch up with you.”
“What do you know? You don’t know me. You don’t know shit about me.”
“I’m not aware of everything, obviously, but I have a good idea of some of it. And what you have told me is enough to understand that you’re hurting.”
“Shut up.” His voice was an aggressive bark.
“I think you know that’s not going to happen.”
He’d reached his car, and I continued to walk toward him.
“I said, shut up. Shut the fuck up!” He was screaming so loudly that his voice ricocheted off the cold hard surfaces of the deserted parking garage, making it seem as though he was surrounding me, coming from all angles.
“No.” I kept my voice to a low whisper, as opposed to his ferocious roar. I stepped closer.
“I mean it. I’m not fucking playing with you. Stop. Before I do something we’ll both regret.”
I stepped closer again, slower this time.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” He was like the human equivalent of a trapped animal, fear and terror flared in his eyes in equal measure.
I took one more step. Everything after that happened so quickly, I could barely register it. Raine grabbed my hand and pulled me roughly toward him, at the same time pivoting so that we switched places, and I now had my back to the car, while he faced me with his back to the rest of the lot.
“What do you want from me? Huh? What the fuck do you want from me?” Even with his face contorted with rage, he was so fucking beautiful I could barely breathe. Even as I feared his next move, I craved whatever it was going to be. I craved him.
He lurched forward, first pushing me against the car, then sliding me onto the hood.
“I want you.” My voice was an urgent whisper. “All of you.”
He leaned forward, working his body between my legs, then spreading them open with his thighs. At the same time, he snaked one hand to my neck and squeezed hard. Then he pressed his lips to mine, and dropped his voice, just like I had. “Be careful what you wish for,