not the women.
“So, while all this sports stuff is supposed to be inspiring and motivational, or whatever, it’s really not. I mean who wants to look at some perfect specimen when they’ve just come back from a workout where they were peeing buckets of sweat before they even made it out of the changing room, and when they did, they almost puked during their spin class? It’s not motivating, it’s taunting, and tone deaf, and really, it can go fuck itself.” She stopped speaking and looked like she just about had a heart attack at her words.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to...” God, she was cute.
“You’re not seriously apologizing to me for cursing, are you? You’ve met me, right? I use curse words as punctuation points. They are sentence glitter. Unicorns have sparkles, I have the word fuck. It’s my superpower.” What the fuck? Had I really just likened myself to a unicorn? I was losing my goddamned mind. “Besides, it’s advertising—anything goes. Aaaand, it’s late. Normal office rules don’t apply. Not that there are any, but if there were, you’d be off the clock by now, so don’t worry about it.”
“Hahaha. Okay. Well in that case, it’s a fucking joke. And honestly, if I didn’t need to leave the house to work out, and if my gym wasn’t full of women striving to be the vision of perfection we’re fed in the ads, I wouldn’t bother with workout gear at all, apart from shoes. Because fuck them. How fucking dare they? And then they try to present it like... ‘We’re all in this together. We understand you, blah, blah, blah.’ It’s bull crap, and as women, we’re smart enough to know that, but not always strong enough to resist it. You know?”
I had no fucking idea, which was why I was asking her in the first place.
“So, this was really just about cutting the bullshit, admitting that we’re not perfect, but not only that, it was about stating that perfection isn’t the aim.”
“What is then?”
“Really? You can’t imagine what could, would, or should be more important than striving for physical perfection.”
“I didn’t say that. I just want to understand.”
“Well really, almost anything is better. Being real. Being honest. Loving who you are. Living who you are. Living your life your way. All clichés, but also all truths.” She stopped talking abruptly and got the “Oh my God, kill me now” look I’d seen on her a few times that day.
“What?”
“What, what?”
“Why did you stop speaking?”
“Because I realized that I sounded like a crazy person, ranting and railing at the world. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be of any use to you. I’ll get out of your hair.” She rose from her seat.
“Sit the fuck back down. You can go when I say so, not before. You’re really helping, trust me.”
“Umm...okay. Well that was it, anyway. It was just about being true to who we are, as opposed to trying to mold ourselves into the shape society tells us to be, or who we think other people want us to be.
“And what about the illustrations?”
“What about them?”
“You just drew these freehand?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’m going to need you to do more.”
“Really?
“Didn’t I just say that?”
“Yes, but I don’t think...”
“You don’t need to think. Well, you do, but mostly you just need to come up with more ideas, and draw more pictures. I’ll do the rest. And don’t worry, if the money’s the issue, we’ll pay you the going rate for an illustrator, plus your PA money.” The frown bogging down her brow wasn’t the response I’d been expecting. Nor was the nose wrinkle, though that was pretty fucking cute.
“It’s not that. It’s just...”
“What?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a lot to take in, is all.”
“Don’t overthink it, except to remind yourself that it’s a great opportunity. Really great. What can possibly go wrong?”
Chapter 11
Noa
* * *
What could possibly go wrong? I wanted to scream, “Everything!” The man was clearly batshit crazy, and possibly the most difficult person I’d ever met, let alone worked with, and not only that, but the press reports I’d read about him seemed to suggest a reputation, and not a great track record with women.
Nothing was spelled out in quite so many words, but it was certainly hinted at. A case in point was the whole debacle with Carlisle and Free PE. Reading between the lines, it seemed like there might have been an issue with one of the female creatives who’d made the original campaign.