I’ll run into a fire and not come out.”
“Can you blame him? That’s a genuine worry. Today was a close call.”
The muscle in his cheek flexes, making the edge of his jaw seem even more defined. “It shouldn’t have been. I’m sure the owner is under investigation for having full propane tanks in the damn aisle.”
“Well, if all people were smart, there wouldn’t be chaos, and without chaos, we wouldn’t be employed,” I tell him with a lift of my chin. My hand falls onto the bed, and his pinky reaches out to touch mine—just enough to leave me wondering if he’s doing it intentionally or not.
“Smart words from a smart man. I can’t say I’m surprised,” he flirts through the oxygen mask, which somehow he makes look more like an accessory than a life-saving piece of machinery. He is that good-looking. He clears his throat, and he becomes bold enough to place his hand on top of mine. “Tell me, how are my friends? Do you know?”
Oh, god. They haven’t told him.
Great. I have the job of a husband when I’m not even a damn husband! How do I get myself in these positions? I take my other hand and sandwich ours together. “Saint will recover just fine. Fracture in his leg. But Taylor is on life support. They aren’t too sure what will happen. I’m so sorry, Nathan.” Using his first name makes the situation more personal, I think. Plus, I can’t deliver news like that and call him Rainbow.
“Oh.” He looks down, tilting his chin to his chest. His cheeks turn a dark shade of red. The shadows from his lashes dance on his ash-ridden skin. “I’d hoped…” his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly. “I had hoped I got to him in time, but I guess even our best can never be good enough to beat death, right?” he chuckles darkly. “Damn it, he doesn’t deserve that. He’s so young and has his entire life ahead of him.”
“Hey, so are you, and so do you. It’s unfortunate what happened to him. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but what happened to him… it could have easily been you.” I do something that goes against all my rules. I lean forward, and I wrap my arms around him.
Damn it, what’s he doing to me?
The excuse to hug him is to make him feel better, but in return, it makes me feel better too.
His chest against mine is solid, muscular, and the wide palm settling in the middle of my back is bringing me comfort. But it’s also scaring the hell out of me. I go to pull away, but his arms tighten around me, and the scruff on his cheek scratches against my smooth one.
“Not just yet. I like how you feel against me. You make it easier to breathe.”
I unknowingly scoot closer, so there is no more space between us. I blame my body. Again, it has a mind of its own.
Like a fool, I bury my nose against the side of his neck. I swear his skin is still warm from the fire. The smoke clings to him; the earthy burnt scent is something I can’t get enough of. I’ll never be able to smell fire the same way. Instead, I’ll have Rainbow in my mind. His face, his touch, and when I smell it, I’ll remember him. And I’ll miss him.
I know I will because that’s who I am.
I’m the boy who naively loves and gives his heart when there’s no chance I’ll get love in return.
I don’t want to be that boy anymore. I want to be smarter, but having Rainbow hold me is making it really hard.
“This isn’t a good idea,” I say honestly, forcing myself out of his arms. Because, if I don’t, I’ll stay there forever, feeling warm and safe.
“Why not?” He reaches for me again, and I pull away.
“Because I’ve done this before. I’ve been with a straight guy, and he hid me away. I won’t be your experiment, Rainbow. Last time I barely put myself back together, and I know if I allow you to get close to me, I’ll have to put myself together again after you decide I’m not what you want. Well,” I poke his chest, “I deserve to have a guy who’s all in, and I won’t risk that—”
He sits up and snags my wrist, yanking me onto the bed, and I make this embarrassing yipping sound a small dog does when their