then run for public office. Maybe end up in Congress.”
Eddie stared, his mouth around a slice of pizza but forgetting to chew. Who the hell was this woman?
Ash went on as if the expression on his face hadn’t changed in the least. “Turns out, that was more what my parents wanted me to do.” She scratched her arm. “Truth is, I don’t know what I want. I have a cousin who’s running for office in the fall and can’t wait for the fight.” She grimaced. “But some things happened in the last couple of months that made me think twice about that. I don’t think I’m cut out for a life in politics.”
Eddie watched indecision trek across her forehead and down to the corners of her mouth. Law school grad or not, his housemate looked as uncertain about the future as half the people he knew. “You know, you don’t have to decide your whole life tonight. Or even this summer.”
“No? Tell that to my father.”
“Ah, pressure from the parents.” Eddie nodded.
“What about you? Did you always want to fix cars?”
“Oh, yeah.” He cracked open another beer. “I was born for it. I’ve always known it. Used to drive my mom crazy, taking apart the vacuum cleaner, the lawn mower…” He chuckled and let the memories wash over him, good ones this time. “The minute I turned sixteen and bought my own beat-up Chevy, I knew what I wanted to do. It’s like breathing to me.” He leaned back. “Maybe I’ll open my own shop someday, hire a couple of guys to work for me. That’s all I’ll need, that and a house with a garage big enough for three or four of my own.”
“You really know what you want, huh?”
“Guess I’m lucky.”
Ash didn’t speak for a while after that, and Eddie wondered if he’d offended her somehow. He hoped not. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a real conversation with a woman. He realized with surprise that he liked just talking to her, liked listening to her pause over her thoughts and choose her words instead of letting them spill from her mouth without meaning like so many other women he knew. Sitting up here near the trees, talking with someone who wasn’t trying to impress him, felt good. For once, he wasn’t thinking about how soon he could kiss her, or what would happen next. The now was all that mattered, talking to her and watching the color of her eyes change as she listened to him. He liked it.
Eddie let his eyes drift shut, basking in the leftover heat that still hung above them. Ever since The Accident he felt chilled, even in the warmth of summer. The Accident. He always thought of it spelled with capital letters, T.A., like B.C., which he guessed was sort of fitting, since it had split his life in two. Every memory he had was catalogued either Before The Accident or After The Accident.
Life without regret: Before The Accident. Staying out all night and going to work with a hangover the size of Colorado: Before The Accident. But after? Sleepless nights, aches that never ceased, and an enormous gulf between him and his parents. Even three years later, Eddie’s ankles, and the scars on his face sometimes, throbbed in the cold weather. And the nightmares, of course, had stayed with him, once he’d finally been able to sleep at all.
He shook his head and swallowed deeply. Though he tried to will it away, a bright green light began to shine against the back of his eyelids, and his heart started its familiar racing. Not here. Not now. For one day, I want to forget. He swallowed again, but the racing continued, and shattered glass roared in his ears. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He counted to ten and tried to ignore the voices that screamed above the glass. No words, just voices lost in pain. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Please stop. Please.
After a long minute, his heart slowed. The green light faded into the recesses of memory, and the agony of sound disappeared. His pulse returned to almost normal. Eddie dropped his hand back into his lap and opened his eyes.
Ash was staring at him.
“You okay?” Her voice, soft and low, crept across the porch. She didn’t press, didn’t ask him what was wrong, like people always did. Of course, she didn’t know about the accident, and he figured she was about the only person