to hear the remorse in Colin’s voice. She couldn’t afford to give in to his pleas, not after working so hard to get over him. And yet she couldn’t resist them either, despite her best efforts. Sighing, she let the weight of memory roll across her heart. In a flash, it all came back: Colin’s serious expression above her in bed, his hands in her hair, his cheek twitching at the beginning of a smile. His arm around her waist as they crossed campus. His wink as they took notes through class, side by side. His name. His family. God, she’d fallen so hard, so fast, without a thought of what might come after the breathlessness.
After the letter, she’d begun the grim task of shuttering up her heart, piling brick upon brick to seal out the hurt. Now here he was, calling and pretending an apology and a little attention could make everything all right? Brittle tears made their way up her throat.
“Ashton?”
“I can’t do this.”
“Please—”
“I’m not telling you where I am. And I’m not coming home. I need to figure things out.” She picked at a thread in her quilt.
“I miss you,” he said again, and the words tore at her heart.
She pictured Colin’s eyes, liquid and pleading. Her resolve weakened. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe she should give him a second chance.
“Will you at least think about it?”
She took a deep breath. No, she wanted to say. I won’t think about it. It’s over, and I’m moving on without you. But the pull of his voice and the memories it held were too strong.
“Maybe.” The thread yanked free from the quilt and left a tiny hole in the pink fabric. She twisted it around her finger and wondered how much of a mistake she was making. “Maybe I’ll think about it.”
“I really want to work things out.”
She tightened her hand around the phone. “I have to go.” She hung up before he could say anything else.
Stunned, unable to form any kind of coherent thought, Ash pulled down the window shade and sat in silence. Colin…after all this time. She rolled onto her stomach and pressed her face into the pillow. Tears welled up, and this time, she let them come. Maybe on another day, she would have known better, would have turned up the music on the stereo, would have opened all the windows to let evening light flood in. Maybe on another day, she would have turned her back on that piece of her life that still bled when she poked at the scar.
But it wasn’t another day. It wasn’t far enough from the past. Ash was a Kirk daughter, a Harvard graduate, and she’d had every intention of marrying Colin Parker. She’d planned on opening a joint law practice with him, having his children, moving into his family’s estate with the wide porch and thriving flowerbeds. Until two months ago.
He wants me back? He wants to try again?
A few weeks ago, Ash would have leapt into his arms. But now? Now, she didn’t know. To her surprise, a few weeks in Paradise had started to change things. She stared into the blackness behind her eyelids and pursed her lips until Colin’s face disappeared, and she could no longer hear his voice ringing against the hollow behind her cheekbones. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. For the moment, he was gone. Now she just had to figure out how to make him stay there.
Chapter Fourteen
“Lucas, it’s perfect.” Ash wrapped her arms around Jen’s younger brother. “Thank you so, so much for coming up and helping out.”
“Aw, didn’t do much,” he said gruffly. The six-foot-seven giant turned three shades of red as Ash released him.
“Yeah, you did.” The porch still smelled of fresh paint, and all the loose boards had been fixed, along with the leaking toilet and the stuck window in Ash’s bedroom, which he definitely hadn’t had to do.
Lucas ran one hand over a head full of curly dark hair. “It’s a nice apartment.” He leaned against the railing and stared at the street. Always solemn, he seemed quieter than ever today. Broken hearts tended to do that, Ash supposed.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Hey, you’re gonna stay for the party, right?” She was almost positive Eddie had some single friends she could steer in Lucas’s direction.
“Naw, I gotta get back.” He pulled a baseball cap from his back pocket and stuck it on lopsidedly. “Mom an’ Dad are havin’ a barbeque later. Told