alone to figure out what to do. And then I’d come back and sort this all out.
22
Priest
After what felt like just a few minutes of restless sleep, I woke up in an empty bed. “Mal?” I asked.
No response. The space beside me on the mattress was cold to the touch, and his clothes were gone. I sighed, rolled over and grabbed my phone. No messages from him either. It wasn’t too late yet—just before eleven at night. I’d only slept an hour or so before realizing he wasn’t here.
I wasn’t surprised he was gone, though. Last night had been amazing—mind-blowing, even. Something had shifted between us, I’d felt it. It wasn’t just sex anymore, even if that’s all it had been up until that point. But it was more than that now. And I’d thought Mal felt it, too.
I knew him, though. I knew his moods, and the way he carried his anxiety in the tense line of his shoulders and the slight downturn of his full lips. And when I’d walked out of the bathroom, he’d had that anxious look on his face, and nearly fallen over in his hurry to stop me from cleaning him up. I’d almost asked what was up last night, with my arms around him, but I’d thought it’d be better to talk about it in the light of morning. When we both were a little more clearheaded, and not still reeling from the incredible sex we’d had.
Watching him fall apart beneath me last night, I’d known without a doubt that I was getting serious about him. That what I felt for him was beyond what I should feel in just a friends-with-benefits situation. All the qualities that had made me cherish him as a friend were still there: his warmth, his humor, his loyalty, and his kindness. But now, as our relationship deepened, I was discovering a new depth to him that I hadn’t had the ability to delve into before. He was so sweet, and attentive, and thoughtful—and we had a shared connection to Ankh that made our friendship, and our relationship, even stronger.
Not to mention the sex was just getting better and better, the more we learned each other’s bodies.
I sat up in bed. No way I was getting back to sleep—not now.
I’d never thought I’d feel this way for anyone again. I’d never thought there would be a man who would make me want to love again—I hadn’t wanted to meet anyone. I’d thought Ankh was it for me. And yet here I was, longing for Mal. Wanting to be with him. Wanting to make this right, whatever it was. It wasn’t the same love I’d felt for Ankh, but that didn’t make it any less powerful, or any less meaningful.
Then I realized—fuck.
Mal was gone.
Alone. And we still didn’t know where Xavier was. I trusted Mal to be able to defend himself, but my stomach turned at the thought of him alone at night.
I made a few quick calls. Mal wasn’t at the clubhouse or the motel.
“Where would he have gone?” Gunnar asked tersely over the phone. “Raven’s re-enabling the tracking, but it’s going to take a little time. He didn’t tell you where he was headed?”
“No,” I said as I finished getting dressed and tugged my boots on. I opened the bottom drawer to my nightstand and peered thoughtfully at my handgun. Might as well. I tugged on the holster and set the gun at my hip. “But I think I have an idea.”
Gunnar sent Coop and Siren to meet me outside my cabin. If Mal wasn’t at either clubhouse, or any of the businesses, there was only one place he could be. I remembered the nights I’d caught him on the couch with a photo of Ankh in his hands. Both of us had leaned heavily on Ankh for advice, and sometimes, a photo wasn’t enough. Sometimes I needed that sense of closeness. Needed to be somewhere private—somewhere I could talk to him.
Outside the cabin, I nodded gratefully at Coop and Siren. We hopped on our bikes and rode the short distance to the cemetery outside Elkin Lake. It was a chilly night, but the moon was bright and full in the sky, casting a gorgeous pale glow over the cemetery.
“You need us?” Siren asked as we parked.
“Hang back,” I said with a nod. “If you don’t mind.”
They both nodded, lingering near the cemetery gates a respectful distance away as I followed the familiar path to Ankh’s grave.