build. Something I wouldn’t be able to build with someone new from scratch, not at this stage of my life.
“All right,” I said. “If you insist.”
Priest nodded, smiling, and led me down the path to his cabin. He was still carrying my duffel.
I was glad I wasn’t going to be subjected to the worried doting of my members, but at the same time, I was nervous to spend another night at Priest’s. It didn’t mean anything, other than the fact that Priest was worried about me and wanted me to be able to sleep comfortably. Right?
But he was carrying my duffel, the way someone might when they were trying to impress a date.
God, I felt like a confused teenager instead of a grown man pushing fifty-five. The break-in had thrown a wrench into everything I’d planned to discuss with Priest about what was going on between us. It felt less urgent now—we had bigger things to sort out. The club came first. And yet the confusion of the tension and attraction between us weighed on me. In my gut I knew I wanted more from Priest. Wanted his kiss, his hands on me, his warm comforting voice in my ear sighing out moans when he came.
But there was so much baggage there, too—and not just the duffel swung over his shoulder. The roles we had to play, the pain of Ankh’s loss, the twist of fear in my chest when I considered what might happen if this fell apart the way things had fallen apart with Melanie.
It made my head hurt. More than anything, I needed some good sleep.
Priest led me across the threshold to his cabin and set my duffel gently on the floor.
“Thanks,” I said, glancing around the now-familiar, cozy space. “I’ll sleep better on this couch than I would on one of those old twin mattresses, that’s for sure.”
From the kitchen, Priest laughed. “Might be due for an upgrade on those, too.”
I moved my duffel to the couch with some resignation. What had I expected? For Priest to say no, of course you won’t be on the couch, and then corral me into his bedroom? That’d be ridiculous, and foolish. But I couldn’t help my disappointment at the prospect of a night on the couch, regardless of how comfortable it was.
I cleared my throat.
Silence stretched between us.
Priest opened the fridge. “Need a nightcap?”
“Yeah,” I said immediately. “Yeah, that sounds great.”
Priest cracked two cans of beer and handed me one. I took a sip, grateful for the chill of the liquid and, honestly, to have something to do with my hands. Then Priest lingered behind the couch, like he wasn’t sure if he should stay and talk or disappear into his bedroom. And I wasn’t sure what I wanted, either. God, today had been a mess. Really what I needed was a little bit of time to clear my head.
“Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” I asked. “Kind of want to get the itchy feeling off.”
The feeling of being violated—of feeling like Xavier’s hands were still on me.
“Oh!” Priest said, shaking his head like he was surprised with himself. “Yes, sorry, I should’ve offered. Here, come on, there’s just the one upstairs, but it’s nice.”
Right. The guest bathroom was a half-bath—no shower. I hadn’t considered that when I asked, and part of me wanted to rescind the request, but that’d only make things more awkward.
I grabbed a change of clothes from my bag and followed Priest up the stairs to his bedroom. I tried not to be nosy and peek around his room too much, but I couldn’t resist taking in what I could: his rumpled ivory sheets, a cozy-looking red flannel quilt, candles on the dresser, an upturned novel and abandoned mug on the nightstand, leather jacket hanging off the doorknob to the closet.
I wanted to spend more time in this room. Wanted to fall into the sheets with him like I belonged there.
“Clean towels are under the sink. Take your time. And enjoy the shower beer,” Priest said with a laugh.
“It’s just what I need,” I said, matching his grin.
The master bath was simple, but with elements of luxury that showed how much care the guys had put into building the cabin: a rainfall-style showerhead, big shower stall with clear glass doors, and black countertop with Priest’s razor and toothbrush. I turned the water on as hot as it could go, undressed and climbed under the spray.
And then I realized I hadn’t brought