and pretty much nobody would ever be good enough for her.
“Jacob,” Mom said, grasping my arm. She rarely used my full name, unless she was upset or about to give me a good kick in the ass, which I probably needed right then. “Help me check on the pasta salad.”
She yanked me toward the kitchen, and I followed willingly, but as soon as the sliding glass door shut behind us, I turned on her. “What the hell, Mom? Why didn’t you give me a heads-up?”
She folded her arms and gave me a pointed look. “I did. I asked to bring a friend.”
I threw up my hands. “You know what I mean.”
“Honey.” Her voice was smaller and shakier as she stepped toward me. “I wanted to experience this—whatever it is that Bruce and I are doing—on my own first.”
I balled my fists, trying to get ahold of myself. What in the fuck did that mean? How long had they been seeing each other?
“Isn’t that what you and Seth did?” She placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “I know it feels scary and you have certain expectations when it comes to your mother, but can you…” Her eyes pleaded with me. “Trust in me to make my own decisions. Please. It would mean the world to me.”
My breath whooshed right out of me. Well, fuck. I got it then. Really got it.
I was being a dick, and I needed to stop.
“Okay, I hear you.” I kissed her cheek. “I promise to do better.”
27
Seth
Jake was trying not to show it—he laughed in all the right places, and made conversation with people, including Bruce—but it was clear to me he was uncomfortable. I didn’t know if that was the right word for it. Maybe he was unsure? Confused? Whatever it was, it wasn’t the Jake I knew.
Since Bonnie had outed us, Jake had stayed close to me. He wasn’t overdoing it or touching me all the time, but there was a definite difference between now and then. At one point he had his arm around the back of the chair I sat in, and brushed his thumb back and forth over my nape as he spoke to Bonnie, Bruce, Tucker, Mark, and Bree. It was so natural, so relaxed, I wasn’t sure he even knew he was doing it. That thought made happiness fill my chest, settle into my bones. I’d never quite felt like other people, like everyone else. I was shy or quiet, insecure or unexperienced. But in those moments, I wasn’t. I was a new Seth, sitting there with my boyfriend, talking to our friends, and feeling comfortable, not needing extra care or being afraid of what I wanted.
It was perfect; well, except for the fact that I was worried about Jake.
Brett, I was still on the fence about. I’d catch him looking at us, dissecting us like he didn’t know what to think or wasn’t sure he really knew Jake. As if he was suddenly a different person. When our eyes would meet, though, I didn’t see anger there. I didn’t think he was hateful, just ignorant, and it felt like he was trying to work through that, or at least that he would want to.
Bonnie was smiling more than I’d ever seen, unless you counted our drunken slumber party, but that had been the alcohol. At one point Bruce wrapped an arm around her, leaned close, and whispered something in her ear, and I felt Jake tense up. But then Bonnie had giggled like a schoolgirl, and Jake had relaxed again. My poor bighearted boyfriend. I had a feeling there was a whole lot more going on inside that head of his than he ever let out.
A couple of hours later, people started leaving. Mark, Bree, and Hailey first, then others trailing after. Jake was saying goodbye to his friends when Jesse hugged and kissed me. “My little boy is growing up,” he teased, and I rolled my eyes.
Dane wrapped an arm around him and said, “Stop being a dork,” before telling me bye.
Bonnie and her friend—boyfriend? I wasn’t sure what to call him—were the last to leave. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” she said to Jake, who nodded before shaking Bruce’s hand.
“Oh, it makes me so happy to see the two of you together.” Bonnie hugged me.
“I like it too,” I replied, which was maybe a silly way to answer, but it was me.
When they were gone, Jake closed the door behind them and dropped his