though I didn’t want to get him worked up too.
“Listen, I’ve been thinking…” His features grew serious. “Why don’t we slow it down?”
I stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“Not between you and me, silly. I like our pace fine,” he replied, and God, I was losing it. Normally, I had more confidence than this, but not when it came to him and us and this. I had never felt quite this way about anyone before, so it was terrifying and exhilarating all at once. “I meant in front of our friends. I think this is putting too much pressure on us, and we don’t need that. We’re just getting to know each other, so let’s enjoy the afternoon and play it by ear.”
I let out a breath and stepped closer to him. “I don’t want to disappoint you. Or try to hide you.” I swiped my thumb beneath his eye. “You didn’t wear makeup again, probably on purpose.”
“I wore lip gloss, but it doesn’t stand a chance around your kisses,” he said, arching an eyebrow, and I chuckled. “But hey, I chose not to. Not in such a new situation. I’m pretty nervous too.”
I pulled him against me, and we stood in my kitchen, just holding each other and breathing, and fuck, that felt good. To simply be and check in with him before the madness of the afternoon began.
“I like the idea of playing it by ear.” I kissed his cheek. “Besides, most of our friends already know, even if some haven’t seen us together.”
“True. And we are pretty cute.”
That started more laughing and kissing and hugging. Fuck, he was adorable, and I couldn’t stop touching him, which would make this afternoon feel impossible if I wasn’t able to do that freely. More reason to be brave.
Baby steps.
“It’ll be fine,” I said, because it would be. I’d been through worse. And the important thing was for the people I cared about most to understand. Mom, Tucker, and Mark, all were supportive, and even if they weren’t, I’d have to live with it instead of with the shame of hiding. Because fuck that.
“Speaking of cute…” He lifted a plate from the plastic bag he’d brought inside. “Look at the cookies I made.”
He uncovered a couple dozen chocolate-chip cookies and offered me one. On cue, my stomach rumbled, and I grabbed a smaller one and practically ate it whole, the buttery sweetness bursting on my tongue.
“Damn, that’s good,” I said, swiping a crumb from my lip.
“I’ll bake for you anytime,” he said with a wink. He pulled some beer from the bag and placed it in the fridge, then eyed the stuff I set on the counter. “So what’s on the menu?”
“Burgers and chicken on the grill,” I said, and he nodded in approval. “Mia is bringing her famous baked beans, and Mom dropped off her awesome pasta salad last night to store in the fridge. Guess it needs to marinate.”
“Sounds good.” When he looked over at me, he could somehow tell something was on my mind besides the obvious. “What is it?”
“Nothing. I was thinking about what Mom said to me when she was leaving.” He eyed me curiously. “That she’d be late to the barbecue because she had another cookout she’d be attending at her apartment, in the pool area, apparently.”
“Bonnie’s been keeping herself busy, eh?” he said with a smile. “She makes the rounds pretty easily.”
“Right? She’s always been outgoing,” I mused, then remembered how stifled she’d become over the years with my father, hiding further inside her shell as the years went by. “Oh, and she asked if she could bring a friend.”
“A friend, huh?”
I steeled my reaction. “Has she said anything?” About a friend?
“Just that she’s having a blast,” he replied with a questioning look. “She’s gonna meet people, Jake, and probably date.”
My stomach sloshed. “Of course. I just didn’t think it would be so soon.”
“Soon?” His eyebrows drew together. “Hasn’t it been years?”
I cleared my throat. “Suppose it has.”
And now I felt guilty for all the nights I tried keeping her busy while she lived with me—not that she didn’t find stuff to do all on her own—when maybe she’d just been trying to make me happy.
“Hey, you okay? Do you want to talk—”
“No.” I shook my head and reached for the cutting board. “We need to get cracking before everyone shows up.”
We set to work, chopping tomatoes, onions, and lettuce for the burgers, and I was glad to give my hands something to do and