side view, then felt his heat beside me.
“I’m gonna set out more salsa and guac,” he said as his hip brushed against mine, and I resisted the urge to reach for him. “In the fridge?”
“Yeah, thanks.” When he turned to head toward the kitchen, I reached for his wrist, then quickly dropped my hand. “Wait?”
He stood motionless as we both stared down at the grill, just…breathing.
“It’s okay,” he said in a low voice. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, we have time.”
“Or we can rip the Band-Aid off,” I replied, but the thought still curdled my stomach. Fuck, why was I being such a chickenshit?
“I’ll go at your pace,” he said in a wary voice, probably feeling as off-kilter about it as me. “For now, let’s get everyone fed.”
“And keep the drinks rolling,” I replied, then downed the rest of my beer, hoping for some liquid courage.
I shut the lid on the grill, then went around the yard to take drink orders. Once I delivered more beer and wine to my guests, I sat down near Brett and Tucker, who were in a conversation with Mark, Bree, and Lauren. Seth was across the deck with Jesse and Dane, and I couldn’t keep my gaze from traveling to him again and again. I should’ve brought him into this conversation, got him more acquainted with my coworkers, whom I spent the majority of my time with. They should know Seth and understand how important he was becoming to me.
I stood suddenly, decision made, and as I was about to throw caution to the wind, to call him over, my gaze swept to the sliding glass doors that led to the kitchen. I released a small gasp as my mom stepped outside with a man around her age, who was graying at the temples. I stiffened as I noticed a few things all at once: How youthful she seemed as she whispered something to him and he smiled hesitantly at her. How pretty she looked in her summer dress with sandals, her toenails painted a bright pink.
Was he her neighbor or her date?
A date, definitely a date.
My stomach twisted. I had never seen her with a man other than my father, and I recognized that flirty look she’d sometimes throw him during happier moments between them. Moments when I wished with all my might that my dad had finally turned a corner and changed. Wishful thinking for sure.
She reached for me as she approached, then pulled me in a hug.
Snap the fuck out of it.
“Hey, Ma. How was your cookout?” I managed to ask.
“Fun,” she replied, then drew back and turned to her guest. “Jake, this is Bruce.”
Pinpricks bombarded my body as I forced my mouth to smile, to use the goddamned manners my mother had taught me.
“This is my son, Jake,” she said, and he reached out to shake my hand. I didn’t want to be rude, so I thrust my hand at him as Seth stepped up to greet my mom. “And oh, Seth, nice to see you, honey! Seth is the guy my son is dating.”
Suddenly all the air got sucked out of my lungs, and it seemed as if the whole table beside me fell silent. I watched numbly as Seth greeted Bruce, then threw me a rigid smile.
Time seemed to stand still, then came rushing back in.
I reached for Seth’s hand like it was an anchor, and when I knotted our fingers together, the look of relief he gave me told me all I needed to know. It was exactly what I’d planned to do only a moment ago, so I supposed Mom’s pronouncement helped me along. I’d hoped to work up to my coming out one way or another.
“Wait, Jake is with Seth? Like, with him?” I heard Brett ask in a shocked tone, and I threw him a warning look over my shoulder, daring him to say something stupid.
“That’s right,” Tucker said, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t got a problem with that, do ya? I, for one, am happy for them.”
I heard Brett sputter out some muffled response as Bree and Mark murmured their agreement, and then I focused back in on my mom, who was explaining something to Bruce and Seth about the cookout they’d come from.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Bruce said, leaning toward me.
“Have you now?” I replied stiffly, which was clearly the wrong tone to use. But I couldn’t seem to help myself. I had been Mom’s protector since childhood,