and find a sweet good night text from Foster, I melt a little inside.
I need them.
I need Foster.
And for the first time ever, needing someone doesn’t feel like a weakness.
31
Foster
I’d contemplated bringing a sign to the airport saying, “Property of Zach Sawyer,” but I thought he might get embarrassed. It was tempting to see his face that bright shade of red I love so much.
I’d invited him to New York with me, but he already had his ticket home for the break, so we haven’t seen each other in … too many days to count. I was half hoping for an invite to his hometown but didn’t want to intrude. I get the impression Zach’s family is supportive but not really close. Not like mine.
When Zach’s dark head of messy hair appears in the distance, I hold myself back from doing something lame like running at him in slow motion.
I force my feet to stay where they are, next to the baggage carousel that has his flight number on it.
He’s got his head down, looking at his phone.
Mine buzzes in my pocket.
ZACH: I’ve landed. Seth should be here to pick me up. Can’t wait to see you.
“Hey,” I say when he’s a few feet away.
Zach jumps back. “Foster … What are you … I mean …” He looks down at his usual baggy jeans and his old, thinning shirt. “I thought Seth was coming. I would’ve …” He gestures to his clothes.
“Aww, you woulda gotten dressed up for me?” I go to wrap my arms around him, but he steps back.
“I smell like plane, and it’s gross.”
I hug him anyway. “Don’t care.” I squeeze him tighter. “Missed you.”
“Missed you too,” he mumbles against my shoulder.
“Fuck, I cannot wait to get you back to the house.”
There are still a few days before classes start back up, so he’s staying with us.
And, oh, look at that, I still managed to make my boyfriend blush anyway.
“No sex in your parents’ house.”
I grin. “How long did that last over Thanksgiving before you caved?”
“Thanksgiving rules stand. No sex while they’re home.”
Sleeping naked next to Zach almost killed both of us until he finally broke and instigated a loophole. It seemed every time Mom and Dad left the house, we’d rush to my room, much to Seth’s annoyance.
“I happen to know they’re at work right now, so we have the place to ourselves. Well, Seth’s there, but we can tell him to fuck off.”
He purses his lips. “We’ll see.”
I don’t know what that means, but I try not to read into it.
Zach wraps himself in about three layers of sweaters and jackets before we head for the parking lot.
“Cold?” I reach over and shove my beanie on his head.
“I swear it’s colder here than in Wisconsin, and I didn’t think that was possible.”
“I know lots of ways to warm you up.”
“A few weeks without sex has given you a one-track mind.”
“Nah, I always think about sex, but I’m more vocal about it when I’m not getting any.”
Zach smiles, but there’s something about it I don’t quite believe.
It’s been like that for a while if I’m being honest. Ever since Damon King came into my life, Zach’s smiles feel forced. His excitement seems faked.
For someone who analyzes emotion because he doesn’t understand it, he’s not great at hiding his.
He’s gone back to fidgety and nervous Zach. As if any progress we’ve made the last few months has been taken away by our time apart.
It was like this when hockey season started too.
I don’t know how that will affect us next year.
We’ve been texting and talking on the phone, but Zach’s been too self-conscious to video chat, which I respect, but if I’m going to sign with an NHL team, something’s going to have to change. He can’t go back to being uncomfortable around me after every time we’re away from each other.
Visits will be short. Our time will be limited.
But I still want it. I want as much time with him as I can have for as long as I can have it.
I thought this thing with him would be fleeting—that we’d hang out, have fun, and then eventually we’d realize we have nothing in common or we’d be too busy for each other and end things on good terms.
It’s how most of my “relationships” have gone.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think we’d end up here where I don’t want to leave him. I never thought I’d take someone else into consideration when deciding my