when I let him.
“Hey, Pop.”
“Shalom, b’nai. What’s wrong?” he asked automatically. Hello, my son. The rabbi in him always knew when something was bothering someone. Especially when it came to his kids.
“Fu—er, everything.” I tried not to cuss in front of my dad even though I did it sometimes anyway.
“Your band.”
“Yes.”
“Your girlfriend.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“So…mid-life crisis?”
I chuckled. “I think I’m a little young for that, but maybe a mini-one.”
“You want to talk?”
“Do you have time?”
“For my son? Always.”
“Dad, I’m so conflicted about every damn thing. My band, my girl, my life.”
“You’re with your brother. Is he not better able to counsel you on things like this? I know very little of your personal life, Tyler.”
“Neither does he,” I admitted. “Neither does anyone, to be honest. I’ve been so busy being a star… I don’t know who the heck I am.”
“You’re Tyler Rabinowicz. A wonderful human being, as well as a talented musician and good son.
“Am I…a good son?” I asked quietly. “I mean, I haven’t been much of a son lately.”
“Your mother and I have busy, fulfilling lives. We raised two strong, intelligent, hard-working boys. What else do parents want in life? For you to live in our basement?”
“Attention? A relationship?”
“This is a relationship, no?”
“Dad, I don’t want you to be nice to me,” I grumbled. “I need a lecture. I need someone to set me straight.”
He chuckled. “You’re far too old for a lecture. You know what you need to do. You don’t need me to tell you.”
“I think I do.”
“You love her?”
I hesitated. “It’s only been six weeks.”
“I knew I was going to marry your mother the day we met.”
I smiled to myself. That was essentially the same thing Casey had said. I’d thought maybe my parents were an exception, but I was beginning to see a pattern with people who really loved each other: as soon as they felt it, they knew. And I’d been feeling it since the first time I laid eyes on her. I just didn’t know how to deal with it because, unlike everything in my life, this relationship was hard. It was also important and fulfilling and so many other things that were hard to explain.
Indescribable.
That’s what we’d called our first time together.
And nothing had changed.
She’d become indescribably part of me, and I’d let her go.
I had to fix this as soon as possible.
Dad and I talked for another thirty minutes as I told him about Ariel, her father, Darren, and Whiplash Records. He listened patiently, occasionally tsk-tsking when I told him things she’d been through and what we were dealing with now.
“Sounds like she needs friends and family more than ever,” he said when I finished. “And she definitely needs you.”
“The fact that she’s bipolar doesn’t scare you?”
“Scare me? Why would it scare me? I’m not frightened of someone with cancer, and this is another disease, just like that. Luckily, not usually a fatal one, so that’s a bonus. You’ll find a good doctor and learn exactly what she needs once she’s free of her father. I’ve never known you to back away from a fight, Tyler. I hope this isn’t when you start.”
“I have to go, Pop,” I said after a slight hesitation. “Thanks for listening.”
“Of course.”
“I’m going to come to New York to see you and Mom soon. I promise.”
“Bring Ariel with you. I want to meet her.”
32
Ariel
I was exhausted when I got to L.A., but Madeline had sent a car for me. I was driven to a secure apartment Madeline’s law firm owned, where they often put high-profile clients and witnesses. She assured me I wouldn’t be bothered, and I got into bed fully clothed, sleeping for twelve hours. It was weird to be back in California, and I padded to the window after I’d showered in the morning. Madeline was on her way to meet with me, and we had a full day planned, but I took a minute to stare out at the busy streets. We were somewhere in Santa Monica—I hadn’t really been paying attention last night after traveling for more than twenty-four hours—and I saw the ocean in the distance. The view was beautiful, but I found myself longing for the gardens of the palace in Limaj.
Longing for Tyler.
I hadn’t taken my meds in two days, and though I’d been terrified, Erik had listened to the whole story on the flight from Hiskale to London. He’d let me cry and talk about my dad and how much losing my mom hurt. No one had ever listened