dipped her head. “I did.”
“I didn’t know that, but now that I do, yeah, I kinda do.” I couldn’t help but laugh, and she did, too.
“That’s fair.”
“Punching a cop takes teenage rebellion to a new level,” I teased, since she was laughing.
“For sure. I mean, it was a dark time in my life, but I’d like to think I’ve grown up since then. Lesson learned, you know?”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but all teenagers do dumb shit. I never did those specific things, but I did a lot of stuff I wish I hadn’t. I took the phrase sex, drugs, and rock and roll about as literally as anyone could. I had so much of the first two, I don’t know how I’m still alive. I mean, I wasn’t into super heavy stuff like heroin, but coke was my drug of choice, and there was always a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand. Thank god I don’t have an addictive personality, or I’d probably be dead. But I don’t know if there’s any lesson in it other than the fact that we were young and immature. You grow up and realize there’s more to life.”
“I suppose there’s that,” she said quietly. “However, I’m also bipolar, except I didn’t know it back then. Coke was my drug of choice as a teenager as well, but now that I’m properly medicated for the bipolar, I haven’t touched more than a glass or two of wine with dinner in years. I have to be careful, so I stopped partying like a teenager while I was still one.”
“How old are you?” I asked. “If you don’t mind telling me.”
“It’s public knowledge. I’ll be twenty-six on Christmas Day. You?”
“Thirty-two.” I grinned. “And I’m not partying like I’m in my twenties anymore, either.”
“It’s been so long since I partied, I wouldn’t even know how.” She seemed resigned as she said it.
“It’s fun for a while, but eventually it gets old.”
“Yes, I’m sure it would have, but I never got the chance to figure it out for myself. And now, even the slightest mistake means I might never get out from under the damn conservatorship.”
“I don’t know exactly what your conservatorship consists of,” I said slowly, “but I imagine it puts a lot of restrictions on you.”
“You have no idea,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry. That sounds hard.”
And there it was. Those steel-like eyes of hers met mine, and we connected like two people attached by an invisible cord. Something so painful and raw flashed behind hers, I wanted to reach for her. She blinked, as if working hard to keep her emotions at bay, and then looked away.
“Oh, hey, I’m sorry. That was too personal. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t.” She took a shaky breath. “I just don’t usually talk about it.”
“It’s pretty personal, so I wouldn’t expect you to.”
She stared at me another moment, cocking her head slightly. “I thought after the other night it would be awkward to see you again, but…you’re so easy to talk to.”
“Probably because the other night was pretty…indescribable.” I smiled at her, wishing I could read her mind so I’d know what to do next. “But all of that aside, trust that you can tell me anything and it’ll stay between us.”
“I’ve never had a confidante before.”
“I don’t have many myself, so I know what it’s like.”
She paused. “How come?”
“How come what?”
“I would think a guy like you has tons of friends.”
“I do, but confidantes are different. The only one of those I have is Casey, and she’s busy starting a whole new life now. Without her, I’m on my own.”
“But you have friends, even if they’re not besties. Guys in the band, people you tour with…”
“I mean, if there’s something business-related, I have Casey or Bash, but in general? If I’m being honest? I’m alone a lot. In my house, hotel rooms, everywhere but on stage and in the studio.” I scratched my head. “Maybe not physically alone, but definitely emotionally alone. Which might be part of the reason why I crave performing and touring so much.”
“How ironic.” She gave me a rueful smile. “Because all I want in life is to be alone, or at least, away from my father.”
“And yet you’re here, without him.”
She smiled wanly. “Yes, well, I may have sold my soul for this little taste of freedom.”
“I don’t know what that means.” I got a little uncomfortable any time she mentioned her father, Darren, or