a needle but all he's got to do is get a cheek swab? How nice for him." I scowl while Luke swabs Kyle before thinking of something else. "Hey, does your lab test for STDs?"
"We can. Sure," Luke answers easily. Again, like this is all no big deal. No judgment.
"Good." I smile. "Test Kyle for everything."
Kyle just huffs and rolls his eyes at me like I'm being ridiculous, but hey, I'm not the one who showed up with a beat-down old condom. Also we didn't use anything at all the other night, so as long as we're running tests to prove things, I don't think I'm being unreasonable.
As a side bonus, it's a huge turn-on when a man folds up his shirt sleeve, right? Kyle's shrugged out of his suit jacket and is folding his up and... damn these hormones to hell.
"Do you want to see the baby?" Luke is done with Kyle, Kyle already rolling his sleeve back down and slipping his jacket back on. I wasn't expecting this, it was a bit too early for a standard ultrasound when I saw my own doctor so we opted not to do it.
"Um, just the regular kind of ultrasound, right?" I question. "I'm far enough along for that?"
"Yeah. You won't even have to get undressed. Just slide your shirt up enough to expose your abdomen. If you want?"
Yes, I want! The idea of seeing it—the baby—in all its grainy glory suddenly has my heart beating very fast. I nod my head in agreement, a quick glance to Kyle and then back to Luke. "Yes," we both say at same time.
"What's the other kind of ultrasound?" Kyle asks when Luke's left the room to grab what he needs. I'm on the table with the horrible crinkly paper beneath me, a blanket spread over my lap.
"Um…" God, why is pregnancy so embarrassing? I'm barely even pregnant, which means there's bound to be months of embarrassing things ahead. Or maybe it wouldn't be embarrassing if I knew Kyle better, but the situation is what it is. "The other kind is internal." I make a weird gesture with my hand as I say it, which helps nothing. "Basically they have to stick a wand inside. Like a skinny dildo." Kyle's face is blank, but he blinks a few times, taking that in. I think he handled hearing I was pregnant better than the visual I just gave him. "And your hot cousin is never going to see my vagina. Mmkay?"
"Hard no on that," Kyle agrees with a shake of his head and then our eyes meet and we're both trying not to laugh.
Luke returns with the sonogram machine on a rolling cart and then before I know it he's squirting cold gooey gel on my stomach and we're doing this. I'm not showing yet, my stomach still flat, which just makes this all the more surreal. Unbelievably surreal as Luke flips on the machine and I stare at the goo on my stomach and oh, my God, my heart is racing. I'm having a baby. An actual baby, which no longer feels so abstract. It's no longer just a positive test if I can see it, hear the heartbeat. I'm going to be a mom. In real life. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Forever.
I bite my lip and when Kyle takes my hand, I let him. I'm anxious as hell but I'm sure I'm not meant to be so I squeeze his hand harder than is likely necessary. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm overwhelmed.
I'm also not used to being such a feely person.
Luke begins by pressing the ultrasound thingy against my stomach. Why is medical equipment so weird? How does this thing even work? I mean really, it's just a plastic thingy attached with a cord. It's probably—
Oh. My. God.
There it is.
There's my baby.
Right there on the screen, floating around in my uterus. The office fills with the sound of the baby's heartbeat. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Like water sloshing around in a bucket. A tiny, tiny bucket. One just big enough to hold a raspberry or a strawberry or whatever-sized berry the baby is this week.
"Oh, my God, I'm pregnant. I'm really pregnant. I knew I was, I knew I was pregnant. But now there's a picture." I glance from Kyle to Dr Luke and back to the monitor. "I'm having a baby and I'm not ready and it still looks like a little blob that could just as easily be