She was sobbing with relief now, grateful beyond expression that at last she could say it. She looked into Jack's eyes and said: "So I opened my legs, and William did it to me, while the groom forced Richard to watch."
"I'm so sorry," Jack whispered. "I heard rumors, but I never thought... Dear Aliena, how could they?"
She had to tell him everything. "Then, when William had done it to me, the groom did it too."
Jack closed his eyes. His face was white and taut.
Aliena said: "And then, you see, when you and I kissed, I wanted you to do it, and that made me think of William and his groom; and I felt so horrible, and frightened, and I ran away. That's why I was so mean to you, and made you miserable. I'm sorry."
"I forgive you," he whispered. He drew her to him, and she let him put his arms around her again. It was so comforting.
She felt him shudder. Anxiously she said: "Do I disgust you?"
He looked at her. "I adore you," he said. He bent his head and kissed her mouth.
She froze. This was not what she wanted. He pulled away a little, then kissed her again. The touch of his lips on hers was very soft. Feeling grateful, and friendly toward him, she pursed her lips, just a little, then relaxed them again, in a faint echo of his kiss. Encouraged, he moved his lips against hers again. She could feel his breath warm on her face. He opened his mouth a fraction. She pulled away quickly.
He looked hurt. "Is it that bad?"
In truth, she was no longer as frightened as she had been. She had told him the horrible truth about herself and he had not recoiled in disgust; in fact, he was as tender and kind as ever. She tilted her head and he kissed her again. This was not scary. There was nothing threatening, nothing violently uncontrollable, no force or hatred or dominance; just the reverse. This kiss was a shared pleasure.
His lips parted and she felt the tip of his tongue. She went taut. He teased her lips apart. She relaxed again. He sucked gently at her lower lip. She felt a little dizzy.
He said: "Would you do what you did last time?"
"What did I do?"
"I'll show you. Open your mouth, just a little."
She did as he said, and she felt his tongue again, touching her lips, passing between her parted teeth, and probing into her mouth until he found her own tongue. She pulled away.
"There," he said. "That's what you did."
"Did I?" She was shocked.
"Yes." He smiled, then suddenly he looked solemn. "If you would only do it again, that would make up for all the sorrow of the last nine months."
She tilted her face again and closed her eyes. After a moment she felt his mouth on hers. She opened her lips, hesitated, then nervously pushed her tongue into his mouth. As she did so she remembered how she had felt the last time she did it, in the old mill, and that ecstatic sensation came back. She was filled with the need to hold him, to touch his skin and his hair, to feel his muscles and his bones, to be inside him and have him inside her. Her tongue met his, and instead of feeling embarrassed and faintly repelled, she was thrilled to be doing something so intimate as touching his tongue with her own.
They were both breathing hard now. Jack held her head in his hands. She stroked his arms, his back, and then his hips, feeling the taut, bunched muscles. Her heart pounded in her chest. At last she broke the kiss, breathless.
She looked at him. He was flushed and panting, and his face shone with desire. After a moment he bent forward again, but instead of kissing her mouth, he lifted her chin and kissed the delicate skin of her throat. She heard herself moan with pleasure. He moved his head lower, and brushed his lips over the swell of her breast. Her nipples were swollen under the coarse fabric of the linen nightshirt, and they felt unbearably tender. His lips closed over one nipple. She felt the heat of his breath on her skin. "Gently," she whispered fearfully. He kissed her nipple through the linen, and although he was as gentle as could be, she felt a sensation of pleasure as sharp as if he had bitten her, and she gasped.
Then he went down