do Mark’s friends do?’ I’m scrutinising every square millimetre of his face, looking for…something.
‘The girls? I don’t know, to be honest. I think one of them works with Danny, but the other one I’m not sure about. She could be a friend of the one he works with. I’m not really sure. They’re just girls.’
‘Doesn’t Danny have a girlfriend at the moment?’
‘He didn’t mention it, but then again the conversation we had didn’t go that way. We talked about college, what people we knew were doing now and then he mentioned this holiday thing.’
‘What about Callum?’
‘Girlfriend? I have no idea. Don’t really know the guy.’
If Callum did turn out to have a girlfriend, I’d suspect that it was her who pushed him off his bike and into A&E. Mark puts his arm around me and does that sincere look that I’ve come to know so well.
‘I wasn’t really that keen when he first mentioned it. I know we’d planned to do a couple of things next week when I was off, but I’ll make it up to you. We’ll do loads of stuff when I come back. Every weekend we’ll do something. It’s just that I don’t see my old friends that often and…’
I give Mark a smile that’s meant to indicate that’s he’s justifying himself too much when there’s really, really no need to at all. This marvellous smile is also letting him know that he has no reason to feel guilty or do something marvellous every weekend for the foreseeable future. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, this is a very complex type of smile that not many people would be capable of mastering. I’m quite proud of this smile, to be honest. It’s a multi-purpose smile.
Accompanying this smile, though, is a sort of semi-unintentional dead look in my eyes that is reminding him that we hadn’t just planned to do a couple of things next week; we’d planned to do about thirteen things, from what I can remember, and I’ve already paid for one of them…
My voice is light and carefree.
‘There’s no problem. Really. It’ll give me a chance to get on with my work. With you out of the way I can work much longer hours. Might even start on that second canvas.’
‘That’s what I thought! That’s exactly why I thought it would be a good idea. I could get out of your hair for a while.’
‘I can really get my head down and focus on things.’
It’s as if someone else is saying all these things for me. I can’t imagine who. I don’t like them very much, though.
‘That’s the spirit. Has what’s her name…’
‘Rhoda?’
‘That’s right. Has Rhoda got any plans for what you do next? Anywhere to sell them to? Anything like that?’
‘It doesn’t really work like that. Unless you’re some internationally renowned artist, you have to actually finish the work before your agent attempts to sell it.’
‘Oh. Shame. Well, you’ve still got the temping.’
‘Yes.’
And so we talk and talk about anything except the elephant in the room and after a few hours or so, the whole Greek holiday thing seems to float away; like it’s something I saw on a TV show and somehow got confused with real life. But occasionally it come flying back and jabs me in the stomach to remind me that it’s real. I’m a solitary sort of person usually, but I suddenly think that I need someone to talk to about this. Get some sort of second opinion, because I think I’m so freaked that I don’t have an opinion at all.
We go to bed and Mark is feeling frisky. After all, he says, we won’t see each other for a whole week. I fake it from beginning to end. I’ve got too many other things floating around my mind to concentrate on anything as mundane as sex. By that, I don’t mean that sex is mundane or that sex with Mark is mundane. Well, it can be sometimes. Maybe it isn’t mundane at all. I haven’t really discussed it with anyone else.
I often worry about this. You’re out with a girlfriend (or girl friend, I’m not fussy) and you casually mention something about your sex life and she suddenly looks horrified. ‘My god, Chloe – you have the most appallingly mundane sex life. What are you doing with that guy? Are you insane?’
Just before I fall asleep to the sound of Mark’s light snoring, I try and think of what two girls and two guys could get up to