and neither has any of our other surveillance, there is always the off chance that your husband is having you followed. If you think there is any reason he might.”
I bit my lip. “No,” I said quietly. “I would honestly be shocked if he was.”
Calvin thought he owned me, plain and simple. And perhaps he did. For now.
Matthew gave me a queer look, but let the comment lie. “Be that as it may, we should still be careful. We can say pretty easily that I’m a guest of the Sterlings helping you out with the creeps in your house because I am. But that gets a little tougher if I’m caught sucking that lip the way I really fuckin’ want to right now.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. But I also wasn’t sure I cared anymore.
“Nina.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Stop biting your lip and drive, baby. Otherwise people are going to start looking.”
I started. There were, in fact, a few parents and teachers glancing at us curiously, obviously wondering why we were sitting in a car without moving.
“Right,” I said, then started the engine and pulled out of the spot.
“You’re quiet,” Matthew said after another fifteen minutes, when we were back on the freeway on our way to Wellesley.
I glanced at him, then back at the road. “Am I?”
“Well, you’re always quiet, but particularly right now. Not that I don’t like pensive Nina, but I do wonder what she’s thinking.”
I paused to change lanes, ruminating on the thoughts that had been running around my mind over the last few days.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said as the landscape raced by. “I want to tell Olivia the truth.”
“The truth,” Matthew said slowly. “About…”
“About her father,” I said. “Her real father.” I bit my lip again, thinking hard. “You’re going to do your job well. I know you are. And if that’s the case, I’ll have some space to start a new life for the two of us. It’s only right we begin it with honesty, she and I. Don’t you think?”
“You don’t think Calvin will have anything to say about that, even from prison?”
“He doesn’t have as many rights as he thinks he does,” I replied evenly. “Considering he’s not even on her birth certificate.”
At that, he looked genuinely surprised. “He’s not? Weren’t you married by that point?”
I nodded. “We were, yes. But he wasn’t at the birth. My friend Caitlyn was, actually. You remember her, don’t you? Caitlyn Calvert?”
Perhaps it was petty, but I rather enjoyed the way Matthew squirmed at the name.
“You know I do,” he said with a narrow green look. “I guess I didn’t realize the two of you were so close.”
“Not as close as you, if I remember correctly.” Outrageously, I winked, enjoying the way his jaw dropped when I did.
“Doll,” he said. “Did you just make a joke at my expense?”
I chuckled. “Could do.”
He grinned. I felt like the sun had just shone directly on me.
“Anyway, yes,” I said. “We were close. She was my best friend back then. And was until just recently.” I glanced pointedly at him. “You remember, don’t you?”
“Eric’s wedding? Yeah, I remember.”
“I thought she was family,” I said. “I’d always wanted a sister, and there were times she acted like one. But after the wedding…I guess I just realized that neither friends nor family would really do something like that.”
“No,” Matthew agreed. “They would not.”
I shrugged. “She was never much of an influence on Olivia. Over the years, it became clear that she was in my life more because of what she could get out of it rather than because we were actually friends. We have been talking more recently, though.”
Matthew frowned “You have?”
“Courtesies, mostly. But yes, from time to time she checks in.” I threw him a mischievous glance. “Don’t worry, she doesn’t mention you.”
His expression didn’t change
“You deserve better.”
“Better than what?”
“Better than everyone.” His smile was sad. “Better than me, that’s for damn sure.”
There’s nothing better than you, I wanted to say. But I sensed it would only be an invocation of what we both wanted, but knew we could never have.
“Olivia’s father’s dead, right?”
I did my best to ignore the band of guilt that squeezed my chest whenever I thought about Giuseppe’s death. “Yes, he passed about a year after she was born.”
“So how would you tell her, then? Or…what would you tell her?”
“I’d like to take her to Florence. She’s old enough now. I could show her where I went to school. Where I met her father. Maybe I