pay anything."
"It will. The programs there are funded by grants."
His eyes go to the ceiling. "I don't even know what that means," he says, sounding frustrated.
"It means it's not a volunteer job. You'll actually get paid. I don't know how much but I'm sure it's more than—"
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"Never mind." He does a quick head shake, then looks to the side.
"Tyler, tell me what you meant. You're obviously upset about something."
"I'm not upset. I'm just…frustrated."
"By what? Just tell me."
"A grant. I have no fuckin' clue what that is."
"Oh," I say, relieved that's the cause of his frustration. I thought it was something about us. "A grant is just money from the government. There's money set aside for stuff like education and social programs. You apply for the money and sometimes you get it, sometimes you don't. So that's why you were frustrated? Why didn't you just ask me what it meant?"
"Because I shouldn't have to." He slides his arm out from under me and stands up, grabbing his boxer briefs from the floor and putting them on.
"We're leaving?" I stare at him, trying to figure out what happened. Just minutes ago we were lying together, our bodies wrapped around each other, Tyler playing with my hair, kissing my forehead. It was pure bliss. And now? The magic is over, like a balloon being popped.
"We need to get back. I'm sure your grandma's wondering where you are. I'm surprised she hasn't called."
"I'm not worried about Grams. I'm worried about you." I get up, the blanket wrapped around me. "What's going on here? Everything was great and then all of a sudden you changed."
He tosses me my shirt. "Get dressed."
I toss the shirt aside. "Stop telling me what to do! I want answers. What the hell just happened?"
He doesn't respond. It's so damn frustrating when he does this no talking thing. He does it all the time and it drives me crazy.
He's done getting dressed and gets out his phone to check it.
"Um, excuse me." I go over and stand in front of him. "We're not done talking here."
"There's nothing to say," he says, his eyes on his phone.
I yank the phone away. "You're not getting this back until you tell me what happened just now. Are you mad because I asked you to stay?"
"We can't stay here. There's no heat. It'd be too cold."
"I'm not talking about staying in the cabin. I'm talking about staying here, in this town. Are you angry that I asked you to stay? Because if so, that doesn't make sense. Of course I want you to stay. I love you." I yell it because I'm so damn angry and annoyed with him.
His face softens but looks pained. Is it because he's leaving? Because he doesn't want to say goodbye? If that's true, then why is he doing this?
"I don't understand you," I tell him. "If you love me like you say you do, then why would you leave? I'm only here for two years. It's not that long. You could find a job here for two years. I know it may not be great but we'd be together. And after that, we could decide where to go next." I place my hand on his chest and look up at him, my expression pleading, begging him to consider this. "It doesn't have to end."
He takes my hand off his chest, lowers it to my side, then lets it go. "I'm not the guy for you."
The words cut through me, the pain searing my chest. "Why would you say that? You're basically telling me to break up with you. Or you're breaking up with ME. Either way, it hurts like hell and I hate it." Tears trickle down my cheeks. "Why are you doing this?"
Again, he doesn't respond. I want to strangle him but I don't have the energy. I'm too sad. Too shocked that our beautiful night has ended in such an ugly way.
I sit down on the bed, the blanket falling around me.
"Faith." He bends down on one knee, a pose that should be reserved for a proposal, a promise for our future, but that's not what this is. Not even close.
He holds both my hands and looks down at them. "I love you, Faith. I love you with all my heart. And I wish we could make this work but you've known since day one that it wouldn't. I made it clear to you that I wasn't sticking around