guy Grams would pick for me, but I can't force myself to feel something that just isn't there.
With Tyler, I come alive. There's this energy that courses through me whenever I'm around him. Sparks. Electricity. Whatever it is, I'm always craving more of it.
"You get the good one," he says, pointing to a fold-out lawn chair. He points to the one next to it. "This one's broken. If you get cold, there's a blanket." He motions behind me where a wool plaid blanket is folded up.
"You did all this?" I smile. "What if I didn't agree to come out here?"
"Then it'd be just me and the coyote."
I jump up and look around. "You saw a coyote?"
He laughs. "It was a joke. Come here." He takes my hand and pulls me into a hug. "You're safe with me." He kisses my head. "Always."
"You mean until you leave," I mutter.
"If we're doing this, we can't talk about that. It won't work."
"But you'll give me warning, right? You won't just get up and leave one day, will you?"
"I won't just leave. I'll let you know."
It already hurts to think of him moving away and yet I'm willingly choosing to do this. I'm willingly letting my heart get broken.
"Let's sit down." He pulls away and waits for me to sit in the chair.
"I have a better idea." I pick up the blanket, then spread it out on the ground next to the fire.
"The bugs will get you down there."
"You said I was safe with you," I say as I sit on the blanket. "I'm trusting you to keep the mosquitos away."
He sits down behind me, his legs going on either side of me, his arms going around me, pulling me back against his chest. "How's that?"
"Perfect." I rest my head on him, watching the flames of the fire flicker in the darkness. There's a chill to the air tonight, and being in his arms with the warmth of the fire surrounding us is absolutely perfect. I wish we could stay here all night. I want more time with him, as much as I can get before he goes.
"Why now?" I ask, still watching the flames. "Why'd you agree to this now when you could've agreed to it weeks ago? If you had, we would've had more time."
"I didn't plan on this, Faith. I was never supposed to get involved with you. But you're so goddamn irresistible. I couldn't take it anymore. You know how hard it is to see you every freakin' day and not be able to act on how I feel?"
"You could've told me. Even if you didn't want to date me, you could've at least told me you liked me so I knew it wasn't just me feeling this way."
"I don't know how you couldn't already know how I felt. Like when I first kissed you??hat lame excuse I made for why I did it? That alone should've told you how much I wanted you. You're so damn beautiful and you were right there next to me. I tried not to do it but I couldn't stop myself."
"That kiss ruined me."
"What do you mean?"
"After that kiss, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was thinking about you a lot before that, but that kiss just made it worse. Even last night, when I was out with Keith and should've been thinking about kissing him, I was thinking about kissing you."
"You kissed him," Tyler mutters. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You were on a date. Makes sense."
"I didn't kiss him. Not last night. When he dropped me off I told him I didn't want to go out again and then I left and went in the house."
"But you kissed him before."
"Friday night. But it was nothing. It was one kiss and completely innocent."
"I hated that you were out with him. You had every right to be. I kept telling you there was nothing between us, but still, I wanted you for myself, so thinking about you and that guy?? Tyler shakes his head. "That's why I have firewood. I chopped wood to calm myself down."
I laugh. "I guess that's one way to get rid of your anger. And hey, we got a fire out of it." I look around. "Where's the marshmallow sticks?"
"I don't actually have any. That was just a ploy to lure you out of your room. I could go inside and see if I could find some."
"That's okay. I didn't really want marshmallows. And you didn't need to