these things last?"
"I don't know. Why? Hold old is it?"
"I've probably had it for a year, maybe more."
He hasn't used a condom in a year? Does that mean he hasn't had sex in a year, or he just hasn't used one in a year? I hope he doesn't have something.
"You don't have any—"
"No, I've been tested."
At least that question is answered but I'm still curious why that condom hasn't been used for a year. Now isn't the time to ask. He's over me again, kissing me, pressing inside me, and the bliss is back. Pure, undeniable bliss that has me wishing we'd been doing this since the day we met because I'm pretty sure I'm not going to feel anything this good ever again. It never felt this good with Tom and yet I was going to marry him. I had no idea what I was missing out on.
Now I've found a guy who makes me feel things I've never felt, someone I can laugh with and be myself with, and who makes me happy. But in a few short weeks, he'll be gone.
I said I could do this, and I will. I don't have a choice. Tyler's leaving and I have to accept that. Until then, I'm going to savor these moments, pack away the memories, and hope that someday I'll feel this way again.
Chapter Sixteen
"Holy shit," Tyler says, out of breath as he collapses onto his back. "We need to do that again."
"Definitely," I say, smiling, as I snuggle against his side.
"I don't mean tomorrow. I mean like later tonight. Unless you have to get back."
“We could go to my room."
"And risk your grandma catching us?"
"I'll lock the door. You'll have time to get out."
"Are you going to tell her about us?"
"No. I don't think we should tell anyone, even Walter. There's no reason to since you'll be…" I don't even want to say it. Tonight has been so perfect I don't want to ruin it by talking about him leaving.
He kisses my head. "We weren't going to talk about that, remember?"
I close my eyes and breathe in the cool air, trying to focus on this moment instead of the fact that he'll be leaving.
"You want to go inside?" He rubs my arm. "It's getting cold. I don't want you to freeze."
"It feels good. I'm still hot." I sit up and search for my shirt.
"You ARE still hot," he teases, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me back down beside him. "You've been hot since the second I saw you."
I turn to him. "Why were you such a jerk to me when we met?"
"Because your grandma was being a jerk to Pops."
"How is that my fault?"
"It's not but I had to look out for Pops and…" He sighs. "You're right. I shouldn't have acted that way." He tugs me closer and kisses me. "Can I make it up to you?"
"Maybe. If you go back to my room with me and repeat what you just did."
"Deal." He finds my shirt and hands it to me. "I really was a jerk. I think I'll need to make it up to you tomorrow too. And the next day. And the day after that."
I laugh. "I like that idea."
As we're getting dressed, my mind goes back to the condom. "So about the condom, did your comment mean you haven't…done it for awhile?"
"It means I was in a relationship. We'd been together awhile and she was on the pill."
"How long were you with her?"
"Seriously?" he asks, staring at me.
"What?"
"That's not something you talk about after what we just did. Or before going up to your room to do it again."
"I was just asking."
"I don't talk about exes with the person I'm with. It's a rule."
"I told you about Tom. You know the history of that entire relationship."
"And when you told me, we were just friends. Now we're more than that."
"So when we were just friends, why didn't you tell me about this girl?"
"Because it's over. There's nothing to say."
"I'm just surprised you never mentioned her. Actually, you really haven't told me much of anything about your past. We usually just talk about me."
"Because you're way more interesting than me." He grabs my hand. "Let's go."
"What about the fire?"
"It's fine. It'll burn out."
We start walking and I stop suddenly. "Wait, we need the ladder."
"We don't need it." He pulls on my hand. "C'mon."
"We need the ladder to get to the window."
"We're gonna be crazy and use the front door."
"But Grams might hear us."
"Then