satisfaction. The knowledge of this almost drove her mad with desire.
At long last, Elizabeth felt the hot walls of Merrill’s womanhood tighten around her fingers. Merrill cried out, clenched her thighs around Elizabeth’s hand, and gave a small convulsion. A wave of warmth washed over Elizabeth’s hand, and they were both left panting in each other’s arms.
‘I do love you.’ Elizabeth whispered into Merrill’s hair, ‘I love you, Merrill.’ She could not stop the words rushing forth. It was as though she could not hold them in any longer. Elizabeth said it over and over again, while Merrill clutched her. When Merrill released her, tears streaked her face, and Elizabeth kissed them away.
‘Elias.’ She kissed Elizabeth deeply. Their tongues swirled and Elizabeth felt a pang of pain through her heart.
~
It had been the best, and worst night of Elizabeth’s life. She reveled in Merrill’s love and admiration as they held each other all through the night, kissing, and embracing. Yet something heavy weighed her heart down, and it was the knowledge that this could not last. Eventually, it would all come undone, and Elizabeth would be revealed as an imposter. When the truth came out, Merrill would leave her.
Perhaps Elizabeth should run away, or fake her own death, for the thought of Merrill abandoning her would be so painful she might die from it. Perhaps they could depart on terms that would leave Elizabeth’s memory a good one in the eyes of Merrill. After all, Merrill did not need to know that Elias Searson was really a woman. Yet this deception caused Elizabeth great internal pain. The guilt was almost paralyzing.
If the public discovered that Elizabeth had ‘tricked’ a young woman into her bed she would surely receive a public flogging. Or worse, they would send her to the mad house. Yet the fear of this did not match Elizabeth’s fear of Merrill leaving her.
When the sun rose, Merrill lay cocooned against Elizabeth. She was curled into a ball, with Elizabeth’s free arm wrapped around her stomach. Elizabeth had slept badly, as usual. With immense effort, she removed herself from the bed without waking her lover, and proceeded to the washroom across the hall.
She locked the door behind her, and finally took off the disguised that had taken over her life. It was immensely relieving to stand naked in front of the full-length mirror. She stared at her reflection, and the bruise upon her neck. It was like a brand that Merrill had given her, claiming Elias as her own. She touched it with her fingertips and sighed.
After washing herself, Elizabeth felt much better. It was as though she had washed away all of her sins and was left fresh, and pure.
Footsteps could be heard on the landing.
‘Elias?’ Merrill’s voice called through the door.
‘Yes?’ Elizabeth said in her falsely deep voice, rushing about and collecting her male clothes. It was horrible strapping her breasts down, but it must be done.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes, fine. Just cleaning up.’ Elizabeth said as she hurriedly put on her breeches.
‘Mayhap I could help you?’ Merrill said in a teasing tone.
‘Oh.’ Elizabeth stalled as she tightened the bindings around her chest. ‘Um, I am almost done.’
Merrill tried the doorknob, but discovered that it was locked.
‘Can I not come in?’ Merrill asked.
‘One moment!’ Elizabeth called.
Elizabeth went to open the door, but stopped herself. Wig, she reminded herself.
‘Shit, shit, shit.’ She breathed as she tried to put it on as quickly as possible.
‘Are you okay?’ Merrill asked through the door.
Elizabeth wrenched it open and smiled at Merrill, ‘Just dressing.’ She said airily.
‘Do you mind if I clean up?’ Merrill asked.
‘Not at all.’
Merrill entered the washroom and began to strip before Elizabeth’s eyes. She took the hem of her nightdress and lifted it over her head. Her dark hair fell and splayed down her back, reaching her buttocks. Elizabeth looked away, ashamed of her perversion.
Merrill looked over her shoulder, ‘Do you want to help?’
Elizabeth looked back and could not help but comply. She was truly and utterly under Merrill’s spell.
Chapter Ten
Sailors Return
Elizabeth continued to court Merrill in secret. They spoke of their love for each other to no one, under Elizabeth’s instructions. Merrill was confused as to why her lover wanted to keep their courtship a secret, but complied.
She continued to sneak out at night and visit Elizabeth. They kissed, and touched, and whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears. Merrill was madly in love with Elias, and Elizabeth was madly in love with Merrill.
Elizabeth had convinced herself that