your house, thinking perhaps you could … you could do something to help me. But you were not there, and your sister told me you were out of town. I thought you must be visiting your sweetheart.’
Elizabeth frowned, ‘Merrill, you have behaved extremely foolishly.’
‘I thought you might like me, Sir.’ Merrill said miserably, ‘When you said I could come with you, here, I thought …’
‘You thought … what? You thought we would begin a courtship Merrill? For goodness sake, I am your employer. I cannot … I cannot take advantage of this situation.’
‘You are not taking advantage of me, Sir. I promise.’
‘Go.’ Elizabeth said, ‘Just leave, Merrill.’
Elizabeth did not watch Merrill walk away. She felt horribly guilty for sending her away, but Elizabeth felt as though she had been tricked. Merrill had lured her into this position, and planned it from day one. Why was Elizabeth so upset about this though? If her husband, George Greenwood, had done this, she would not be hurt in the slightest. Because I do not have feelings for the Captain, Elizabeth told herself, but did that mean that Elizabeth cared more for Merrill than her own husband?
Chapter Eight
Elizabeth’s Discovery
Elizabeth sat in the meadow for over an hour. She was immensely confused and could not get Merrill out of her head. Elizabeth did not wish to fire her, but what choice did she have? She did not want an awkward workplace, and the apothecary was the most important thing in her life.
Darkness had begun to fall before she made her way back home. The walk cleared her head and she tried to decide what her options were.
On one hand she could continue with her everyday life, and pretend nothing of the sort had happened. On the other hand, she could dismiss Merrill and find someone else to help her run the apothecary.
But was there another option?
Elizabeth tried to repress the images that were flooding her mind. She walked faster and tried to ignore the visions attempting to penetrate her head. It was no use. A rush of possible scenarios flooded her mind.
She imagined Merrill’s lips against her neck, and her bosom pressing against Elizabeth’s bound chest. She inhaled, and could smell Merrill’s hair. They were entwined together as they lay upon white sheets. Elizabeth was herself, not Elias. All worries left as Merrill kissed her again and again.
No, Elizabeth thought sharply, pushing the visions aside. She was just confused because she had been dressing as a man for so many weeks now. The male clothes were having an effect upon her. She was not thinking like her normal self. Never before had Elizabeth ever imagined herself with another woman. It was horrific, sinful, and disgusting in the eyes of the church and god himself. Yet why did it feel so exhilarating to think of these things? Was there something wrong with Elizabeth?
Once Elizabeth had arrived home she changed out of her disguise as soon as possible. She washed herself in the basin and ignored the disturbing thoughts. She imagined herself ripping up every sinful thought she had ever had, and throwing them into a river. She watched them float away.
Now that Elizabeth was her usual redhead self again, she felt normal. Busying herself around the house, she kept her mind occupied. She cooked herself a meal, cleaned the kitchen, read a book, and washed some clothes. It was only when she was so tired that she could barely function did she lie down and allow herself to rest.
She immediately fell asleep and had numerous dreams, all of which contained Merrill. She woke several times during the night with a warm, tingling sensation between her thighs that she had never experienced before. She ignored it for as long as she could, but eventually succumbed to temptation, and slid her hand under her nightdress and thought about Merrill unashamedly.
~
Merrill did not show up for work on Monday. Nor did she come on Tuesday. When Merrill failed to arrive to work for the third day in a row, Elizabeth decided that she must pay her a visit. Elizabeth knew where she lived for she had taken note of it during Merrill’s job interview. She wondered if she would be very welcome if she turned up on her doorstep. Would her parents wonder why Merrill had suddenly stopped going to work?
Elizabeth had been angry with Merrill for her actions on Sunday evening, yet the more she thought about it, the more Elizabeth regretted her actions. She thought non-stop of