the possibilities that the afternoon might have contained. She was confused by her attraction to Merrill. Yes, she had indeed come to terms with that fact over the days that Merrill had been absent. She missed her sorely, and could think of little else. It was beginning to affect her work quite badly. Elizabeth made mistakes with several customers, spilled things, broke vials, and was constantly vacant. It took one gentleman several attempts to snap Elizabeth out of a kind of trans she had been in while thinking about Merrill’s lips.
Elizabeth did not know what to make of her attraction to another woman. She had never experienced it before. She thought that perhaps she had gone insane, and might need to check herself into the mental asylum. If anyone found out about this they would think she was barking mad. Strange, abnormal, queer, and various other hurtful words would describe Elizabeth’s feelings.
But at the same time it did not feel so strange. Elizabeth had never loved a man, nor had she ever been attracted to one. Elizabeth did not know if two women could be together in the same way a man and a woman could. The thought of what two women might do sent an excited shiver down Elizabeth’s spine, and she was instantly ashamed of herself for such a thought.
When Elizabeth closed the shop she made her way to Merrill’s home. It was a ten-minute walk away, in an area of town that Elizabeth had not visited often. It was not a very nice area. Dogs wandered the street, and haggard women yelled at Elizabeth from their windows. When Elizabeth came to the right home, she adjusted her breeches, brushed down her vest, checked her facial hair was still intact, and knocked upon the door. It took at least a minute before anyone answered it. Shouting came from inside, heavy footsteps, and then a tall man with a large, protruding belly answered the door.
‘Wot?’ He said.
‘Um, hello, Sir.’ Elizabeth said taking of her hat, ‘M-My name is Elias Searson. I was wondering if Merrill was home. You see, she has not shown up for work for several days and I was just worried-’
‘Eh?’ The man grunted, ‘you fired her.’
‘No, there has been a misunderstanding.’ Elizabeth said, ‘We had a small … disagreement … and I think she assumed-’
‘So she ain’t fired then?’
‘No, Sir.’
The large man shouted over his shoulder, ‘OI! MIM! C’MERE!’
Mim? Elizabeth supposed this was a nickname for Merrill, because a few seconds later, Merrill’s tiny frame appeared next to her father. Her eyes widened at the sight of her boss, Elias.
‘This Elliot says you ain’t fired no more.’ He pointed to Elizabeth.
‘Mister Searson.’ Merrill squeaked, stepping over the threshold, ‘What are you doing here?’
Her cheeks were extremely pink as she closed the door behind her and stood upon the front step with Elizabeth.
‘I wanted to make sure you were all right.’ Elizabeth said honestly.
Merrill looked around nervously, ‘I was too ashamed to face you, Sir … after the way I behaved. I am so sorry.’
‘It is I who should be sorry.’ Elizabeth said in an undertone. She did not want Merrill’s family to overhear, ‘I did not know how to respond to such a situation.’
‘Such a gentleman.’ Merrill’s brows knitted together, ‘I promise I will not do anything like that again, Sir.’
Elizabeth felt her heart drop. Was she really disappointed at the thought of never kissing Merrill again?
‘Please, just … come back to the apothecary?’ Elizabeth asked, and before she could stop herself, ‘I have missed you.’
Merrill bowed her head, and Elizabeth could see her ears turning pink from embarrassment. After a moment, Merrill nodded and Elizabeth felt her heart swell.
‘I will see you tomorrow, Merrill.’ Elizabeth said.
She wanted to embrace her, and hold her, and tell her that she was sorry she reacted so poorly to Merrill’s advances, but Elizabeth restrained herself, turned, and walked away. Merrill stood upon the front step for several minutes, watching Elias walk away, unknowing that she had actually fallen in love with another woman.
~
Things were very awkward at the apothecary on Thursday morning. Elizabeth had never noticed how often her arm brushed against Merrill’s, or how cramped the space behind the counter was. No matter what Elizabeth did, she felt as though her and Merrill were far too close for comfort. Her skin tingled constantly throughout the day, and electric jolts ran through her body every time Merrill brushed against her skin. She felt increasingly warm as the day