hung my skirt up to dry over the shower door and then pulled my father’s too long sweatpants up over my frozen rump.
I studied my dad as he moved around his kitchen. Paul Blackthorn was a tall man. His salt and pepper hair was always neatly trimmed bi-weekly and his hands were the hands of a man who had spent his life lifting books, not bricks.
His apartment was tidy. The only decorations were ones I had given him. Black and white shots of nature scenes around North Carolina. From the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse to a view of Grandfather Mountain. There was one color picture of me on his lone end table, almost hidden behind a stack of paperback science fiction novels. I smiled as I picked it up.
My father came over and handed me the steaming mug. “Regional finals for the Southeast. I think you were about thirteen.”
A lump had formed in my throat. “I remember.”
He sighed. “I loved those competitions of yours. Not just watching your routines, though they were great. But the togetherness, you know?”
I knew exactly what he meant. The three of us in a hotel room, going out to meals like a real family. It was a big change from the way we typically lived, with Dad consigned to an outer orbit around my mother and me.
“Dad, why didn’t you ever push her on the marriage thing. I know you wanted it.”
He shook his head. “It takes two to tango, Joey.”
“I know but…you stayed here. In this town. For her.” My father had been a Yankee born and bred but had fallen in love with Prudence Whitmore and had shifted from studying criminal law to the more locally lucrative mountain real estate. It wasn’t exciting. He had made a hell of a sacrifice to be with my mother and she never even seemed to acknowledge it.
“Joey, something you need to understand about your mother is that I love her because of her independence. I don’t want to change a thing about her or ask her to compromise who she is. Marriage is anathema to her.”
“It makes no sense.” No matter how many times my parents had explained their situation to me, I had never understood. All I knew is that my family didn’t live the way other families did. And my mother called all the shots.
“Prudence is the only woman I want to be with. And if this is the only way she will accept me into her life…well, it’s better than not being with her at all.”
“Didn’t you ever just want to find someone else? Someone who wanted the same things you did?”
He shook his head. “I only ever wanted her.”
It wasn’t unrequited love. It was a holding pattern that had gone on for over four decades. My poor, devoted dad.
His expression shifted, turning wistful. Whatever he was looking at wasn’t in the room with us. “There was a time, years ago, when I thought that she might be softening about the whole subject. That maybe we could at least live together. We were spending so much time as a family. You were about sixteen and training so hard. You were hardly ever home. I think that even though she was happy for you she was lonely too. But then—”
He stopped abruptly and looked away.
“But then I had my accident and broke my wrist.” It felt like a punch to the gut.
“It’s not your fault, Joey.” My father said. “There were other times too, like when you were married. But she was set in her ways by then.”
If only I had flown the nest sooner.
“Dad,” I whispered. “If there was one thing in your life that you had a chance to do over, what would it be?”
“That’s easy. I wouldn’t have put you in public high school. Where you met that boy and got in the car with him….”
I closed my eyes and nodded. “I need to go. I have things to do.”
We both stood and I wrapped my arms around him. My hero.
He escorted me downstairs, past the sleeping Edith, and I handed him his suit jacket back.
“How about we have dinner tomorrow night?” he whispered. “I would love to hear about what’s going on with you.”
No, you wouldn’t. I thought but nodded. “Sounds great. Gianni’s at eight?”
My father adored Italian food. His smile was genuine. “Sounds wonderful. See you then.”
I made my way back to where the car was parked. It started right up and I backed out into traffic. I drove past