do. I remember wondering if there was a Heaven and what it was like. And then I saw the ram on the grass in the distance. It turned its gaze in my direction, then walked out the opening in the fence. I followed it. Suddenly I was standing in a playground on a cold, windy day. There was a boy by himself, leaning against the fence with his eyes closed.”
“And it was you.”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember it?”
“Yes. I was praying to God at that moment, asking Him, ‘Why?’ Then I saw the ram walking through the playground and heading to the gate in the fence. I followed it out. The ram was leading me through varied scenes and moments of my childhood, and then of my teenage years, and of my adulthood, and of my life.”
“What was the connection? What was it that connected all the scenes and moments together?”
“In every scene I was seeking or asking . . . or crying out or questioning . . . or searching . . . or wondering . . . or longing . . . That was the thread running through all of them. I followed the ram through each scene and moment until I found myself back in the wilderness.”
“In the vision?”
“Yes, still in the vision, but as if it were reality, as if I were in the present moment. The ram was now in front of me, looking directly into my eyes. Then it turned away but didn’t move. It knew it was waiting.”
“For what?”
“For me to get on its back. So I did. It took me through the wilderness. And then the city on the mountain appeared in the distance.”
“Jerusalem.”
“Yes, just as in my other visions. We ascended the mountain, approached the city walls, and entered through its gate. But that’s where things took a different path.
“As we moved through the streets, I felt a strange sensation, as if the road had been pulled away from under me. I looked down. We were flying. And the ram was now radiant, otherworldly, and winged. The streets receded beneath us and then its buildings as we kept ascending higher and higher and higher and finally into a cloud.
“It was when we emerged from the cloud that I saw it . . . a city of dazzling radiant light. I had never seen or imagined anything so majestic or beautiful. The ram took me through the gate, through the streets, and to a river of water unlike any water I had ever seen. I dismounted and just stood there taking it all in.
“Everything was saturated in radiance and permeated with an overwhelming and tangible presence of peace, love, and awe. I couldn’t describe what I was seeing or hearing or feeling except that I knew it was the presence of God and that I had never experienced anything like it.
“It was then that I noticed some sort of being standing to my right. The light around me was so bright that I couldn’t tell anything beyond the fact that it was a being, that it was standing to my right, and that its brightness matched the intensity of the surroundings. And then it spoke in a voice that was something like that of a man.
“‘Do you know where you are?’ he asked.
“‘No.’
“‘You are in the place where the mystery ends . . . and begins . . . and always is.’
“‘What does that mean?’ I asked.
“‘It is here,’ he said, ‘that each returns to his own possession.’”
Chapter 62
THE FINAL MYSTERY
IT WAS THE first time the boy came so early to wake me up, a long time before the dawn.”
“How did he wake you?”
“He whistled. He just kept whistling outside my tent until I woke up. I quickly put on some clothes and followed him. I didn’t recognize the way, but I couldn’t tell if it was because it was actually unfamiliar or because I could barely see it. But the darkness had little effect on the boy, who kept up a brisk pace with no hint of any hesitation. He knew exactly where he was going. We journeyed for some time until we came to a high mountain, higher than any of the mountains I had ascended during my time in the wilderness. He led me up one of its steep trails. We walked partway and climbed the rest.”
“Still in the dark?”
“Yes. And beyond how dark it was, there was a cloud just below the mountain’s pinnacle. So as we ascended the mountain