said, though I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised when I always knew that Neil and Lucy wanted more than one child.
“Me either,” he said, rinsing a cookie sheet, then putting it in the dishwasher while I wiped down the island.
“Do you think it’s a boy?” I asked him.
“I do,” he said, turning to glance at me over his shoulder before returning his gaze to the sink. “Which is weird because I never get feelings about this stuff. I’d love a grandson, but another girl would be great, too. And a little sister would be wonderful for Caroline.”
I nodded and studied Coach’s back, as my mind selfishly raced with implications for our situation. Would Lucy’s news make it easier or harder for us? There was no way to predict it, as babies had a way of making things better and worse at once. Lucy would have a distraction, but she would also have raging hormones stirring up her grief. And nothing, including holidays, would highlight the hole in her life like a newborn.
We could hear the clamor of bedtime antics upstairs, Neil and Lucy loudly negotiating with Caroline, and I knew that it would take them at least another thirty minutes to get her to bed. Coach must have been thinking that we were safe, too, because he bit his lower lip and took a few steps toward me. “I need to kiss you again,” he whispered, glancing toward the front hallway. “Everywhere.”
I shivered, then whispered, “Let’s go back to the family room. Safer.”
He nodded, leading me to the sofa, where we sat at a close but still strategically safe distance. We chatted about Lucy’s baby for a few minutes more, before his face grew grave and he said, “I need to talk to you about something important …”
“What?” I said, wondering if it had anything to do with the NCAA investigation.
He shook his head and said, “Not now. Later.”
His expression concerned me, even more so when he touched my hand and said, “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “I just need to … tell you something. That’s all.”
I said okay, now thinking it had to do with Connie. Perhaps a confession that he still felt loyal to her. That he could move his wedding ring to his right hand but could not take it off altogether. He could kiss me, maybe even one day make love to me, but that he wasn’t ready for a full commitment because he would always love her the most. My mind raced with other possibilities, all related to Mrs. Carr, until he said, “Stop worrying, honey.”
Then he wrapped my hand in his, brought it to his face, and tenderly kissed it. I felt myself melting, my vision blurring, my ears ringing, until everything froze and shattered with the sound of Lucy’s voice behind us.
“Hi,” she said as Coach and I both jumped, then turned to look over our shoulders, in tandem.
“Hi,” I said, realizing that he was still holding my hand. I pulled it away. A clumsy, delayed reaction.
“Why did you just kiss Shea?” she said, her voice so sweet and innocent that she reminded me of Cindy Lou Who in How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
“I didn’t,” Coach stammered.
“Yes, you did.”
“I kissed her hand. Not her.”
“Well, why did you kiss her hand?” Lucy said as Neil appeared next to her. She turned to him, crossed her arms, and announced, “Dad just kissed Shea.”
No one spoke or moved for several seconds, until Lucy circled around the sofa and sat on a chair across from us, the tree to her back. Neil joined her, sitting at her feet, looking completely discombobulated. I waited in agony, could feel my cheeks burning, sweat dripping down my sides.
“Is something going on between you two?” Lucy finally asked. She still didn’t sound angry, but she was becoming less bewildered, more stern.
Neither of us replied, which was louder and clearer than any answer we could have given her.
“Oh. My. God,” Lucy said, looking at me, then her father, then me again.
I decided I had to speak since her gaze was now fixed on me.
“It’s not like … that,” I said, although it was exactly like that. I reminded myself not to lie to my best friend. Not to make it worse than it already was.
“What is it, then? What is it like?”
Coach said, “Luce. We’re close friends. You know that.”
“I have never been kissed like that by a close friend. That’s how Neil kisses