set to private, aside from the few posts she wants the world to see, shots of her sophisticated lifestyle in Brussels. I click through until I find one of her in a group outside a bar, Oscar laughing beside her at the table.
Oh, Oscar.
10 June
Jack
Edinburgh in the sunshine is bloody cracking. I’ve been here for a little more than a year now and it’s really starting to feel like home. I know the streets without asking for directions – well, most of them – and I’ve got muscles in my calves I never had before because the whole place seems to be built on one huge sodding mountain. When I first arrived I found the looming granite buildings austere, but perhaps it was more a reflection of my state of mind than the gothic architecture. I see the city now for what it is: vibrant, buzzing, welcoming. I’m still not keen on bagpipes though.
‘Got you one in, Jack.’ Lorne, my huge, bearded producer spots me and raises a pint glass towards me across the beer garden. We’re having our team meeting in the pub, because that’s the way we roll.
‘No Verity today?’ Haley, my assistant, raises her eyebrows at me as I flop down at the table.
‘Nope,’ I say. ‘We’ve amicably parted ways.’
There’s six of us round the table in all, and the others make an oooooh noise in unison. I flick them the Vs.
‘Children.’
Haley tries to be grown-up, which is ironic given that she’s the youngest member of the team.
‘Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.’
I shrug. ‘You didn’t.’
‘Shit, man,’ Lorne says, doleful. ‘Sorry we took the piss.’
I shrug again. In truth, I’m not overly upset. It’s been on the cards for a while; Verity has been getting more and more demanding in every sense of the word. She wanted more of everything than I have to give her: my time, my energy, my emotions. I don’t think either of us will find the separation too hard to get past; she was constantly hung up on Sarah and Laurie anyway, always pushing me to say she’s prettier, more successful, more fun than them. The competitiveness wearied me; it was more about being the best than being the best for me. I wasn’t the best for her, either. Our interests were wildly different; I don’t understand the rules of polo and I’m not especially keen on learning. I know that makes me sound like an ass; in truth I don’t have it in me for a relationship right now, with Verity or anyone else.
I lift my pint. ‘To freedom.’
Beside me, Lorne laughs and mutters something sarcastic about Braveheart.
25 June
Laurie
‘Laurie …’
I’ve just been for a job interview, and I’m rewarding myself with a coffee in the sunshine outside a cafe in Borough Market when someone pauses beside my table.
It’s her.
‘Sarah.’ I stand, shocked to see her unexpectedly, even more shocked that she’s stopped to speak to me. ‘How’ve you been?’
She nods. ‘Yeah, you know. Same old same old. You?’
It’s so painfully stilted, I could cry. ‘I’ve just had an interview for a new job.’
‘Oh.’
I want her to press me for the details, but she doesn’t. ‘Can you stay for coffee?’
She looks at my cup, deliberating. ‘I can’t, I’m expected somewhere.’
The joy of speaking to her is so searing, so absolute, that I want to hang on to the edge of her jacket to stop her from leaving. My disappointment must be written all over my face, because the smallest of smiles crosses her lips.
‘Another time though, Lu, yes?’
I nod. ‘Shall I call you?’
‘Or I’ll call you. Either way.’
She lifts her hand in farewell, and then melts into the bustle of the market crowd. A few seconds later, my phone buzzes.
Fingers crossed for the job. S x
I can’t stop the gulp of tears. I was sickly nervous all morning about the interview for a job on the features desk of a glossy women’s mag, and now I couldn’t care less if I get it or not because I just got something far more precious. I think I might have got my best friend back – some small part of her, at least. I feel like chucking the coffee in the nearest plant pot and ordering a cocktail.
12 October
Laurie
‘Happy birthday, dear Thomas,
Happy birthday to you!’
We all clap, and the baby laughs like a contented loon.
‘I can’t believe he’s one already,’ I say, bouncing him on my hip as I’ve watched Anna do for most of the weekend. My sister-in-law is fully immersed in parenthood, never