“Don’t worry. Mother and Father will understand.”
Leonora nodded. “I’m not worried about that. I’m worried…” Although she could not quite say about what, she felt as though something terrifyingly awful would happen if she spoke of the night of the masquerade, if she told her parents. “Good night.”
Her hands trembled as Leonora slipped inside, wondering if her parents were still up or if they had already gone to bed. Deep down, she knew that they never retired until all the children were home. They kept their distance and allowed them all to make their own choices; yet, Leonora had always felt their watchful eyes.
In the near dark, Leonora made her way upstairs to her parents’ bedchamber. A part of her argued that she ought to wait until the morning. Still, another night would not make it any easier for her to say what had to be said. And so, she did not pause outside the door. She raised her fist and knocked.
After a few heartbeats, the door opened and her father stood before her. He already wore his nightdress, a robe tied over it, the look in his eyes fatigued. “Leo? What is it? Are you well?” He opened the door wider and moved aside, inviting her in.
Leonora stepped across the threshold and found her mother hastening toward her, a concerned look in her eyes as they swept over her daughter. “You look pale, dear. What happened?”
Leonora heaved a deep sigh, her hands tensing against the shivers that still snaked their way up and down her back. “I need to tell you something,” she began, and a deep cold swept through her, raising goosebumps on her skin and making her teeth chatter. This was it!
Oddly enough, telling her parents made it all the more real!
Her parents exchanged a worried look. Then her mother’s arms drew Leonora forward and to the settee in the corner. A warm fire burned in the grate; only it could not warm the lingering cold in her bones. Her father moved closer and came to stand behind his wife’s shoulder, his kind eyes looking down upon her, anxiety etched into the contours of his face.
Again, Leonora inhaled a deep breath, feeling her chest rise and then fall as she exhaled. There was no turning back. “Almost a year ago,” she began, her hands clinging almost painfully to her mother’s, “Louisa and I sneaked out of the house to attend the Hamilton’s masquerade.” Leonora had asked, and Louisa had given her permission for her sister to share the exact details of that night, including Louisa’s involvement.
Her parents’ eyes widened before they looked at one another, a sense of foreboding upon their faces as they turned back to her. Yet, they did not say anything. They did not ask any questions. They simply looked at her and allowed her to speak.
And so, Leonora did. She spoke of everything that had happened that night. She told them of how she and Louisa had arrived at the masquerade, of how Louisa had danced while she, Leonora, had followed her feet here and there, her eyes curious, observing those around her. She told them of the darkened corridor and the hands that had suddenly seized her.
Tears stood in her mother’s eyes, and she could see that her father’s hand upon her mother’s shoulder had tightened, his jaw set. “Why did you not tell us?” her mother asked as tears continued to stream down her face, her hands holding on tightly to Leonora’s.
Bowing her head, Leonora shrugged. “There were many reasons,” she finally admitted, feeling a deep sense of relief to have told her tale. “At first, I simply did not wish to remember it. I thought if I pretended it had never happened, then I could simply go on as before.” She shook her head at that foolish notion. “Of course, it didn’t work. I kept reliving it whether I spoke of it or not. I did not know what to do, and so I retreated, still trying to ignore it. I felt so helpless and weak and…ashamed.”
“Why would you—?” Her father’s voice broke, and he cleared his throat before he tried again. “Why would you feel ashamed?” He stepped around her mother and came to sit on Leonora’s other side. “Yes, you should not have gone to the masquerade. Still, that does not give anyone the right to lay his hands on you.”
Leonora felt tears prick her eyes. “Are you not angry with me? Or disappointed? What I did put