conscious decision to tap into the connection between us. It takes some getting used to, but eventually you'll be able to do it without thinking about it.”
I certainly hoped not. For the past twelve years, I'd had extensive conversations with myself in my head since I had no one else to talk to. I didn't need to be accidentally broadcasting those because I'd gotten too comfortable with our connection.
//Focus, Shira,// Ezra commanded, sounding amused.
Feeling like an idiot, I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. I didn't exactly know what I was looking for and apparently no one was going to help me, so I took a moment to revel in that sense of rightness again. It was like a warm blanket or a comforting hug, yet it somehow existed in the depths of my mind. It pulled me in and I went willingly, sinking into a luxurious sense of belonging. I felt open, vulnerable.
//Hello?//
//You found us,// Seff replied, sounding pleased. My eyes flew open in excitement.
“I did it!” I squealed embarrassingly before immediately clearing my throat and schooling my features.
“Well done, Shira,” Ezra replied, his eyes glinting with humor.
“So, what happens now?”
All the movement in the room ceased with what was meant to be an innocent question. I wasn't even sure they were breathing. Of course, Shira. The consummation that no one wants to talk about.
“You're part of the flight, but not technically mated to us. You have to actually mate with us for that to happen,” Hiram replied cheerfully, ignoring the death glares he was getting from the others. “Usually the Alpha goes first and you take each mate over time, but if you want me now, I'm all yours, babe,” he chuckled, dodging Levi's arm as he swung to cuff Hiram in the head.
“There is no rush for any of that, Shira,” Ezra stressed, eyes narrowed on Hiram. “The, uh, urge to do so will be there for all of us, but that doesn't mean we have to act on it.”
Wasn't he even going to ask if I wanted to? What I'd done with Seff yesterday had felt incredible, I wouldn’t say no to more of that. Besides, when I'd decided to go all in with them for life, I thought that meant the whole mates part was included too. It frustrated me that after all this, we still weren't actually mated. I could rectify that and I would.
“Not you,” I said eventually, looking at Hiram. “You're still in my bad books.”
His eyes shot up into his hairline. “Are you saying... what are you saying? Are you going to consummate the mating bond? Now?”
“Shira—” Oren began, brow furrowed.
“Yes. That is what I want.”
I didn't say anything else, knowing I'd won the argument. I wasn't sure how long I'd get away with getting everything I wanted because they felt bad about how they'd acted when we'd first met, but I may as well enjoy it while it lasted.
“Alpha first, you said?”
“We make our own traditions in this flight,” Ezra said in a strangled voice. “Who do you want to be your first?”
“You,” I answered honestly.
It wasn’t that I cared about Ezra more, or desired him more, but because we needed this. He'd been willing to walk away because he thought I might have been better off. Ezra was doing everything he could to prove he could be the Alpha we deserved, and I needed him to know he was getting it right. Ezra gulped, looking adorably nervous as he gave me a brief nod.
“I’ll get the room ready,” Seff murmured, extinguishing a selection of candles and sweeping them into his arms before disappearing down the hallway.
“Shira,” Levi began awkwardly, clearing his throat. “Have you been taking the lover’s leaf?”
My eyebrows shot up as I took in the unsurprised expressions in the room. No secrets in this flight, apparently. Not anymore, at least.
“I have,” I confirmed. To my surprise, no one objected. Whatever concerns they may have about me taking something banned by the Council, I think they recognized the last thing we needed right now was a baby. Unlike me, they all clearly knew what lover’s leaf was. They seemed to know more about all of this than I did.
“Have you done this before? The consummating thing?” I asked Ezra, narrowing my eyes to cover up how vulnerable I was feeling even asking the question.
Ugh, why had I asked that question? It's not like I could do anything about it if he had, anyway.
“No.” Ezra's eyes briefly glittered