could be strong. Keep them at a distance. That wasn’t how male dragons worked, though. I should have known better. Give them an inch, and they barge their way entirely into your life, knock down all your walls, and make themselves at home in the center of your world so you can’t imagine life without them.
They were breaking me down, and it had only taken two days. Maybe I wasn’t the strong, independent gold I thought I was.
Then again, I could be independent without being alone, right? Oren was independent. They all were, in their own ways. Gods, they were smashing my resolve like it was made of glass.
Well, all except Hiram and Ezra. Hiram was still banned. The others had told me about how mopey he was back at the den, but none of them seemed to disapprove of my choice.
Hiram’s words had cut so deep that just thinking about them hurt. Ezra had said a whole host of overbearing, offensive things when we’d met, but his intentions had always been good. Hiram had said what he’d said specifically to hurt me.
A large part of me wished Ezra would be a little less concerned about upsetting me and come visit. I wanted to see him, now, when my head wasn't fuzzy from the liltane or my body wracked with pain from my first shift. The memories weren't entirely clear, but Ezra had seemed so… different. Gentler. More patient. A little broken.
I needed to see it for myself.
“Shira?” Seff called through the bedroom door. “I made us lunch.”
I ran my fingers through my hair to tame it and smoothed down the front of my dress. I was moving much easier now that my muscles didn't feel like they were made of liquid fire. It was a pleasant development after days of discomfort.
Seff and Xander were already seated at the small table in the kitchen when I got there, eating the salted meat and eggs Seff had prepared. I sat down next to my mate, close enough that our elbows touched. I didn’t move my chair away.
“How are you feeling?” Seff asked, giving my meal an assessing look before scooping some eggs off his plate and adding them to mine.
“Much better,” I replied, shooting him a grateful smile. “Pretty much back to normal.”
“Really?” Xander asked in disbelief, eating his eggs like they might vanish off his plate at any moment. “I could barely move for two weeks after my first shift.”
“Golds have healing magic,” Seff reminded him. “Now Shira's dragon has emerged, she'll be able to heal herself and her, uh, flight. If she chooses to join a flight,” he added awkwardly.
“So, me then. Since neither of us bonded out of our family flight,” Xander said thoughtfully. Seff shot him a filthy look that made me supress a giggle.
I wasn’t convinced that we could overcome all the obstacles between my mates and I — they were still on track for a glorious future with the Council, and I was a murderer of Councilors — but they had accepted me exactly as I was since they'd carried me out of Flight Milain's den.
If they were worried about what I’d done, they weren’t letting it show, and I could no longer assume that they were repulsed by me either — their actions had shown consistently otherwise.
I was running out of excuses not to join their flight.
Xander dropped his fork with a clatter, pushing back from the table and standing like he was in a trance.
“Xander?” I asked, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer me, just wandered towards the back door that led to the garden with an awed look on his face.
“Nothing is wrong, gorgeous,” Seff reassured me softly. “That is the look of a male who is feeling the draw to his mate.”
“Oh,” I breathed, watching my brother walk out the door to a brand new life without a backwards glance. So much for being part of the same flight. Was that our last ever conversation? Logically, I knew that the mating draw would consume his every thought and possibly when things had calmed down, he’d feel bad that he left me so abruptly. Logic wasn’t ruling my response at the moment, though.
I felt abandoned and a little jealous. Not of his mate — gross — but that he was off to an exciting future with his mate, who’d probably be a typical, functioning gold dragon, and they’d all be thrilled to be together.
“You can have that, too,” Seff murmured without looking at