given me the dagger. I didn’t want to cause any tension between Xander and the fae, who appeared to have looked out for him all these years.
“You didn’t use magic then? No shifting?” he confirmed. I shook my head mutely. I’d never gotten around to telling Xander I couldn’t shift yet.
Xander let out a long, low whistle. His brows were drawn down as he contemplated what I was telling him. I supposed it was a little weird to envision your sibling as a ruthless killer. If he’d told me he’d executed an entire flight in their sleep, I’d fall out of my chair.
“Where do your mates come into all this? Did they help you?”
“Not with, uh, that part. I thought I’d protected myself well enough against the liltane, but it got to me through the mask. I guess The Alchemist sent my mates to get me, since they knew to take me back there. They carried me back to Leodis,” I muttered, more than a little embarrassed that they’d had to come get me because I’d passed out. I didn’t even get to admire my handiwork.
“You killed Flight Milain,” my brother repeated flatly.
“I’m sorry I kept this from you, but I didn’t want to implicate you. I still don’t. Gods, we shouldn’t talk about this anymore.”
Xander snorted at that. “I make a living by stealing. I’m not about to rat you out. Shit, sis. I can’t believe you killed them.” Xander fell back in his chair, barking out a surprised laugh. “You’re kind of a lunatic. You know that?”
“Yeah, I suppose so.” Was I? I had just murdered six dragons in their sleep. They’d deserved it, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t also a lunatic. Maybe some of Glendower’s insanity had rubbed off on me.
Maybe Xander was too because he was taking all of this far better than I ever could have hoped he would.
“I made a promise that I’d do this,” I said quietly, staring into the dregs of my tea. “To you, to Alathea, to our parents. I swore I’d get revenge in your honor. It’s almost all I’ve thought about for a decade.”
Xander nodded slowly, looking contemplative. If anyone could understand the hatred that had burned inside me like a living, breathing creature for most of my life, it was Xander.
“So. What happens now?” Xander asked, tipping his head against the back of the chair and staring up at the ceiling. “This is what you set out to do when you left your mates, right? This mission of yours is why you left them. You’ve done it. Justice has been served.”
“I don’t know what happens now.” I massaged the ache that was forming in my temples. “I always hoped I’d get away with it, find somewhere quiet to live out the rest of my life. Maybe try my hand at herbalism to make money. That was the impossible dream. I sort of assumed I’d be found out, and the Council would hunt me down and put me on trial for murder.”
“And you did it anyway?” Xander's voice was thick with incredulity as he lowered his head back down to look across at me. “You took that risk?”
“I’ve been in one prison or another most of my life. At least if they locked me up this time, there’d be a good reason for it.”
Xander broke eye contact, swallowing thickly. “It’s hard to hear you talk about your childhood. I hate that you went through that. That you were alive this whole time, on your own.”
“I’m glad it was me, not you. I promise you, I’d do it all again for you to have your freedom.” My eyes dropped to the table, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to fall. There was a large part of me that envied the life he’d had over the past twelve years — even if it hadn’t been perfect — but I’d never trade his life for mine.
“Get out of that mindset, Shira. You don’t have to make sacrifices anymore — not for me, not for the spirits that haunt you. Your plans for the future don’t even consider trying to make it work with your mates. They’re clearly a godsdamned mess without you, and for all your complaints about them, you were far more relaxed when they were around.”
Xander gave me a long, considering look. “Have you ever thought that maybe the six of you could be happy together? I know you’re mad they tried to keep you in the