look like he was fucking around. Heath wondered if maybe they were getting called back out on a mission.
He was wrong. It had nothing to do with a mission.
“The next one of you fucking assholes that comes into my office and asks to put off your recertification is getting my boot up his ass and a month of restrictions. Are we clear?”
Merlin and Duff looked a little guilty, but two of them asking for time off wasn’t usually enough to get Roe riled up.
Heath looked around and realized Jangles and Zip hadn’t joined them yet. Shit, maybe those two had asked for time, too.
Roe didn’t wait for an answer since none was needed. His word was law. “The new re-cert requirements on the Code of Conduct aren’t optional and they aren’t something anyone on the chain is fucking around with. Your team is confined to the base until it’s done.”
Roe turned and walked off and Heath looked to Merlin and Duff. They only shrugged.
Damn, it looked like tomorrow he’d have to give up his strategy of beating the fuck out of himself, and instead sit in front of a computer watching training videos and taking tests.
Fucking fantastic.
He started moving again, picking up to a 4 mile per hour pace instead of the typical 3.5 mile per hour clip they usually marched at. If this was his last day of burying his head in pain and exhaustion, he was going to make the best of it.
With any luck, maybe he would sleep hard enough that he wouldn’t be plagued by dreams of Eleanor tonight.
Chapter 37
It was almost humorous when Eleanor picked up her phone and saw a video call coming in. She found Jangles and Zip looking at her from a small room on the other end of the feed. Except she was too tired to laugh.
It had been days since she’d gotten a good night’s sleep. She cried most nights and when she did finally fall asleep, she tossed and turned as Heath tortured her in her dreams.
Not that he was actually torturing her. No, in her dreams, what she felt were his kisses, his arms around her, his eyes on her. But when she reached for him, he wasn’t there.
Just like he wasn’t there in real life.
It was stupid, really, that she was so upset over not having him in her life. She hadn’t had him since the day she told him to get out and leave her alone when she was seventeen. That had been hard, but this was even worse. She hated that he wasn’t part of her life anymore. Hated that she couldn’t pick up the phone and hear his voice or his laugh. That there wasn’t any need for them to figure out a way to visit each other and make a long-distance relationship work.
Eleanor looked at Jangles and Zip. For once, Zip wasn’t smiling.
“He misses you, Eleanor,” Zip said.
Jangles nodded. “He’s not the same man he was before the Kazarus mission.”
Eleanor wasn’t strong enough for this. Because despite the fact it seemed his whole team wanted her to know how much he missed her, Heath hadn’t once reached out to her. He seemed to know as well as she did that this had been the best move for both of them.
She tried for a smile, but she could tell it probably came out all wrong. And damn if she didn’t feel herself losing the battle with tears. She was losing that battle more and more, it seemed.
“You know, guys, I love you all for trying to help. It was really nice of Merlin and Duff to come out here.”
“Merlin and Duff were out there?” Jangles asked and he and Zip shared a look of surprise.
She didn’t answer. She was so tired. So overwhelmed by everything. And she was beginning to doubt her decision. Maybe she’d been wrong to send Heath away, but it had killed her hearing him doubt himself the way he had.
She lost the battle with her tears now. She swiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand.
Jangles looked distinctly uncomfortable but Zip stepped closer, like he wanted to reach through the screen to her and she loved him for that. These men were all so important to her now. They’d gotten her and her team through the hell of Kazarus.
“Aw don’t cry, Eleanor. I know he’s thinking about you. He might not have come there yet, but I’m sure he wants to.”
Jangles stepped up then, too. “We’re on lockdown.