her. He needed her, more than he ever thought possible. He needed her to be okay with a desperation he’d never felt before.
And that left him feeling helpless. He wanted to fix this for her. Wanted to take away the pain. To make this all better for her. To erase everything that had happened down in that tunnel.
“Woof, man, don’t do this to yourself. She needs you to be there for her right now. And if you’re busy beating the shit out of yourself, you’re not truly giving her what she needs. Let it go and focus on getting our girl up and out of that bed.”
Heath nodded, even though his buddy couldn’t see him. He would at least do that for Eleanor. He would make sure she got out of that bed and made it home.
Chapter 31
Eleanor closed her eyes and willed away the tears. Morphine couldn’t begin to dull the pain she was feeling. Her heart ached as she listened to Heath. It wasn’t only his words. It was the change in him. She’d seen it in the last few days.
He was no longer the confident sure soldier who had gotten her through the hell she’d gone through in Kazarus. He was sounding more and more like the boy she’d known years ago. Filled with doubt and self-loathing. The only difference was he wasn’t trying to hide it from the world with jokes and bravado like he had as a kid.
She hated thinking she’d done that to him. She’d brought up all the worst memories of that last year in high school and now she was affecting him in ways she hadn’t imagined.
She felt more than heard him enter the room and he was by her side in a heartbeat.
“What is it, Nori? Are you hurting?”
She nodded because it was all she could do. She couldn’t speak right now. Her throat hurt with the effort of trying to hold in the emotions battling her.
He put the little switch in her hand that would let her up her pain med dose and heaven help her, she pushed it. Not because her wounds hurt. But because she couldn’t face the pain of knowing she needed to say goodbye to this man again. She wanted the oblivion that the medicine would bring.
That made her weak and she hated that. Hated knowing she was running like this, but she needed to stop the feelings for just a short while. She needed to close her eyes and pretend this wasn’t happening. Needed to make all of this go away.
Chapter 32
Eleanor’s stepdad, Bill, stepped from the room as Heath was coming back with coffee.
When he’d left to grab lunch, Eleanor had been awake and more coherent than she’d been in the last few days. He could see her head was more clear and she didn’t have the pinched lines near her eyes that had come from the pain. The hip surgery had gone well and the nurses were prepping her for a transition to a rehab center in the next few days.
“Hey, Bill. Is she sleeping?”
He had hoped to get back before she closed her eyes for a nap again but he was happy to sit by her bed and watch her sleep if that’s all he could do. He just wanted to be close to her.
Something about the look the man gave him slowed Heath’s steps.
“She wants to talk to you, son. We’ve set up the rehab center and they’re going to move her tomorrow. She wants to say thank you and goodbye.”
Heath froze, the blow to his chest feeling like a physical one.
“Goodbye?”
He’d heard the man wrong. Or her stepdad didn’t realize how close he and Eleanor had become. Didn’t get that he wouldn’t be leaving her side any time soon.
The man sidestepped. “Why don’t you go on in? I’ll wait out here.”
Heath’s stomach clenched and turned to acid as he clutched the coffee cup in his hand. He couldn’t drink it anymore. Something told him this wasn’t some misunderstanding of Bill’s. Eleanor was about to send him away.
But why would she do that?
He walked into the room, putting the cup on a side table before turning to face Eleanor.
She was propped up in the bed and was smiling at him. It was a fake smile. He knew it to his toes.
“Hey,” he said. It was lame but it was what he had. He crossed to the bed. He’d just talk her out of whatever the hell she was about to say.