anger. ‘I didn’t just lose my leg in that accident, I lost everything. And I’m sick of putting a brave face on it, pretending it’s all a big lark, and that everything is going to be hunky-dory again. Because it isn’t, is it? When I get out of there, what have I got? I’ll tell you, shall I? Nothing. No job, no future, no girl to marry. Everything I dreamed of, everything I hoped for, just gone. When that machine took my leg, it took everything else with it. I wish it had finished the job. If I’d known what was going to happen to me, I would have chucked myself in.’ A muscle flickered in his tense jaw. ‘So no, Nurse, I don’t want your false leg or your false smiles or your false bloody promises. And I don’t want your bloody tea, either!’
He knocked the cup off his locker with an angry sweep of his arm. Helen tried to dodge but the hot liquid caught her square in the chest.
For a moment no one moved. She looked down at the spreading brown stain on the bib of her apron.
Mr Denton’s anger quickly turned to horror. ‘Nurse Tremayne, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—’ he started to say, but something inside Helen snapped.
‘Sorry? You should be sorry!’ The voice that came out of her was louder and harsher than she had ever heard herself use before. ‘How dare you sit there and say you wish you were dead? A young man lost his life this morning. Somewhere out there, there’s a family mourning their son. And there’s your family, sitting down to their dinner and giving thanks that theirs is still alive.’ She was aware that Sister Holmes, halfway down the ward towards them, had stopped in her tracks. ‘Do you think Mr Oliver wanted to die? With his serious head injuries God knows what kind of life he would have had if he’d survived, and yet he was fighting for it right up until the end. Because he knew that any life is better than no life at all.’ She felt hot tears of anger spring to her eyes. ‘So don’t you ever, ever sit there full of self-pity and moan about your life. Because someone out there decided that it was worth sparing. And there are some people who aren’t nearly as fortunate as you.’
In the deafening silence that followed, the only thing Helen could hear was her own breathing, hard and ragged.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. ‘Go and compose yourself, Tremayne,’ Sister Holmes said quietly. ‘Hollins can clear up this mess.’
Helen left the ward in a daze, aware of every single pair of eyes on her. Outside in the courtyard the cold rain hit her like a slap in the face, bringing her sharply to her senses.
What had she done? She had allowed her feelings to get the better of her, and now her anger was ebbing away she felt thoroughly ashamed.
‘Hels?’ She glanced around. William was hurrying through the rain towards her. ‘I was just playing cards in the porters’ lodge when I saw you rush past. What are you doing out here? What have you done to yourself?’
Helen looked down at the stain on her apron. She’d forgotten all about it. ‘There was an accident,’ she said, shivering in the rain. ‘I need to go and change—’
‘Not until you tell me everything.’ William grasped her wrist. ‘You’re shaking like a leaf. Calm down and tell me what’s happened.’
They took shelter in a doorway, and Helen explained about losing her temper with Charlie Denton. William listened intently.
‘And he threw a cup of tea over you?’ His jaw was set with anger. ‘I’m going to have a word with him—’
‘No, don’t,’ Helen pleaded. ‘He was just upset.’
‘He’ll have something to be upset about when I’ve finished with him. How dare he do that to my sister?’
‘I think I’ve already said enough to him,’ Helen said. ‘There’s no point in both of us getting into trouble.’
‘Good for you. It sounds as if he had it coming.’
‘But I behaved in an unprofessional manner,’ she said miserably. ‘I’ll probably be sent to Matron.’
‘It won’t come to that,’ William soothed.
‘It will. And then Mother will find out about it, and then . . .’ she trailed off. And then she would never, ever hear the end of it, she thought.
Once she’d calmed William down and reassured him that she didn’t need him to go into battle with Charlie Denton,