said.
‘I know you didn’t. That’s what I’m trying to say although I know I’m making a frightful hash of it. I spoke to William, you see, and he told me about what happened with Peggy Gibson. He said there was no chance you would ever—’
‘What did he tell you about Peggy Gibson?’ Helen cut in, panic beating in her chest.
‘He told me the real reason she had to leave.’
‘He had no right to do that. It was supposed to be a secret.’
‘It’s all right, I won’t tell anyone else,’ Millie said solemnly. ‘Don’t be angry with him, he only did it for your sake.’
‘Even so, he had no right to say anything,’ Helen fumed. ‘I made a promise to Peggy . . .’
‘Your secret is safe with me, I swear. It’s the least I can do, after the horrible way I spoke to you.’ Millie looked up at Helen sheepishly from under her fair curls. ‘Can you ever forgive me? I’d like us to be friends.’
It was a long time since anyone had wanted anything to do with her. Helen smiled warily. ‘I’d like that too.’
‘I’m so pleased!’ Millie’s pretty face lit up. ‘And I’d really like to make it up to you, if I can. Doyle and I are planning a trip up west to have tea at the Lyons’ Corner house in The Strand as soon as we have time off on the same day. Doyle’s never been, can you imagine? I’d like you to come with us.’
Helen shook her head, immediately ready to refuse. ‘Oh, no, I couldn’t.’
‘Nonsense, it will be fun.’
Helen’s mind raced. Surely even her mother couldn’t object to her going out for tea with a couple of other students? ‘If you’re sure I won’t be in the way?’ she said.
‘Absolutely not. It wouldn’t be the same without you.’
Helen was still smiling to herself as she washed and dressed later. It was strange to think she might actually have a friend. She had become so used to being on her own, she hadn’t realised how lonely she was.
It had been that way ever since Peggy Gibson left. Poor Peggy, she had been the closest to a friend Helen had had at the Nightingale. They didn’t exactly have a lot in common – Peggy was as bubbly, vivacious and popular as Helen was serious, thoughtful and solitary. But like Millie Benedict, she was kind-hearted and persevered in trying to make friends with Helen.
‘I don’t care what you say, I’m not letting you study a minute longer,’ she would say, tugging away Helen’s books. ‘Come on, even you can spare a few minutes to listen to music in the sitting room?’
With her being young and pretty, it was only a matter of time before William made a play for Peggy. Helen was happy for them at first, and even hoped that Peggy might be the one to make her brother settle down. But it soon became clear that Peggy was taking their romance a lot more seriously than William was. After a matter of weeks it was all over, and William was flirting with a staff nurse on Female Surgical while poor Peggy cried herself to sleep every night.
And then one evening she came home from her shift and found Peggy slumped on her bed sobbing, a bottle of Lysol in her hand.
‘I – I can’t do it,’ she’d wept. ‘I want to kill myself, but I’m not brave enough. Help me, Helen,’ she’d begged. ‘Please help me take the pain away.’
Helen had sat up with her all night, holding her while she cried, one minute raging, the next inconsolable with grief. All she could do was cling to her and pray she would calm down.
By the morning Peggy was subdued, but still chillingly determined to end her life. Helen tried to plead with her, to convince her that no man was worth so much misery, especially not her brother. But Peggy just shook her head and told her she wouldn’t understand.
‘There’s nothing left for me,’ she’d said. ‘It’s not just William. I’m so unhappy, I can’t bear it any more. And if you don’t help me, I’ll find some other way to do it. You might have managed to stop me last night but you can’t watch me for ever.’
It was that fear that kept Helen awake, watching over her as she slept night after night. But just as Peggy had said, Helen soon realised she couldn’t keep an eye on her for ever. She needed