and useful all day, and to feel the sun on her face as she worked, instead of being stuck in the gloomy wards.
She kept promising herself she would return to London. But as time wore on, she wondered if London was really where she wanted to be.
‘I wonder if I should stay here?’ she mused to Seb one evening at dinner. ‘I’ve missed so much of my training, I might not be able to catch up. And with Daddy still being so ill . . .’
‘Your father is making progress,’ Seb reminded her. ‘And you know he would be absolutely livid with you if you didn’t go back to London.’
‘Would he?’ Millie wasn’t so sure.
In the end it was Henry himself who gave her the answer. She had been sitting with him, going through the accounts, when he suddenly said, ‘You and Sebastian have done an . . . excellent job. I’m sure we shall all miss you when you return to L-London.’
She lifted the ledgers from his lap and placed them carefully on the rug at his feet. ‘Who says I’m going back?’
He frowned at her. ‘I may have had a blow to the . . . head, but I have not forgotten you have your . . . training to finish.’
‘Don’t you want me at Billinghurst?’ she asked lightly.
‘Of course I do. Nothing would make me . . . happier.’ His face twisted with the effort of speaking. ‘But only after you finish your . . . training.’ He put out a shaky hand to her. ‘Nursing is your dream, Millie. Finish your training, and then . . .’
And then what? she thought. He was right, nursing was her dream. But his illness had made her realise that she had other responsibilities, too.
But her father wouldn’t hear of her staying. And so, with a heavy heart, and a great deal of remonstration from her grandmother, she caught the train back to London.
The Dowager Countess was so beside herself with outrage, she took herself off to the Dower House and refused to speak to Millie at all before she left.
‘She’ll get over it,’ Seb laughed as he drove her to the station.
‘You don’t know Granny.’ Millie turned to him, her face anxious. ‘You do think I’m doing the right thing, don’t you? Or am I just being selfish?’
‘We’ve been through all this,’ he said wisely. ‘You don’t need to worry about your father. I’ll stay and keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t do too much. Although the way he’s going, he won’t need me for much longer. I can tell he’s itching to be rid of me!’
‘Nonsense, he loves having you at Billinghurst. You’re like the son he never had.’ Millie sent Seb a sidelong look. ‘I’m very grateful for your help.’
‘Grateful?’ He laughed. ‘I’d sort of hoped you’d feel more for me than that by now.’
She stared ahead of her at the winding country lane in silence. Neither of them had referred to their kiss since it had happened, although she knew it was playing on his mind as much as it was on hers.
Millie still felt wretchedly confused. She knew she had relied on him too much, gone far beyond the bounds of friendship. He had every right to think their relationship had changed. But was she ready for that?
‘You don’t have to stay until the train comes,’ she said as Seb helped her on to the platform with her luggage.
‘Why do you keep trying to send me away when all I want is to be with you?’ Their eyes met. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t say these things to you. I know it’s not what you want to hear.’ He smiled bracingly. ‘We’re just friends, that’s all. I know that, and I’ve accepted it. I mean, it would be idiotic of me to say I wasn’t bitterly disappointed, but I’m sure in time I’ll learn to—’ He pulled a wry face. ‘Do you think I should shut up now?’
‘I think that would be a good idea.’
There were a few other people on the platform. Further down, a young couple not much older than them were saying a passionate goodbye. Millie tried hard not to stare as they clung to each other fiercely, neither of them wanting to let go. What did it feel like to be that much in love? she wondered.
She glanced at Seb from under the brim of her hat. He was watching the couple too, his face envious.
Darling Seb.