she has to give. Every punch she can pull—whether they be real or emotional. I’ll take it all.
“I don’t want Parker or any other girl. Because the only one I want is you.”
My head spins with what I’ve just admitted—that I’m basically committed to her without her even being able to own the fact that she feels something for me. But… it’s all I have.
The truth.
When I free her from my arms, she staggers away, swiping angrily at the tears she’s shed.
“I saw the pictures,” she finally admits. “Saw what Pandora had to say about it.”
“And we both know that bitch is wrong more than she’s right.”
Southside’s shoulders are heaving and I can’t take my eyes off her. Not just because she’s beautiful even when she’s pissed and wants me dead, but because, more than anything, I want her back in my arms.
Even knowing she could very well swing on me if I get close enough.
Fucking psycho.
“You always expect me to just take your word for shit,” she accuses, “but the bottom line is that your ass isn’t trustworthy enough for that to work on me.”
She hits me with a deep stare that cuts to the bone.
“I’m so sick of this West. You’re exhausting and I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want you stalking me at school. I don’t want the flowers. I don’t want you stopping over uninvited. I just… I want you to leave me alone.”
She lowers her gaze and folds both arms across her chest, but I’m not feeling nearly as defeated as she is.
“Fuck that.”
Her wet strands quiver when she peers up, confused by my response.
“Fuck my feelings?” she asks.
I take steps closer and she eyes me warily. “No, fuck you trying to dismiss me. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not sure how many different ways I have to say that.”
Her lips part, like she wants to say more, but isn’t quite sure what to say.
I close the distance between us and fight the urge to grab her, fight the urge to toss her to the bed and fuck her like I know she needs me to. So good she’ll never question my feelings again. So good it’ll obliterate all this other shit into a pile of nonfactors that amount to nothing. But I refrain. Stopping where I am.
“Why were you at Parker’s?”
There’s an air of vulnerability in her voice I don’t miss.
“Because she basically has me by the balls right now, which means I couldn’t afford to tell her no,” I admit. “And because she doesn’t know how to let go.”
Telling the truth for a change feels like digging myself out from underneath a pile of rubble. Each lie, each secret rolling off me like a boulder as I crawl to the surface.
“No, I need to know what she said,” Southside demands. “Verbatim.”
She swallows deeply, holding her composure when I sigh and take a couple steps back. I lean against her bedroom door before meeting her gaze again.
“She wanted to know why I look at you the way I do. In a way I’ve never looked at her,” I admit. “For whatever reason—to torture herself, I guess—she says she’s re-watched the video of you and me about a dozen times. Not the… sex part. The part where we argued, before any of that other stuff happened.”
I pause, thinking back to that night myself, envisioning it.
“She said she was willing to ‘unknow what she knows’ if I agree to give her another chance. A real chance. It was an opportunity to buy myself at least a little time to figure something else out, a chance to regain a bit of leverage, but—”
“But you didn’t take it.”
I stare at Southside through the dim light, shaking my head. “No.”
Her eyes are softer now, but still not trusting.
“I’m supposed to believe that? I’m supposed to believe you wouldn’t jump at the chance to save your own ass in exchange for being Parker’s pretend boyfriend?”
There’s a hint of something I hadn’t heard in her voice before now and I nearly call it out.
Jealousy.
“Shit, Southside! How many times do I have to tell you I won’t have anyone else?” I say coldly, needing her to really hear me for once.
She’s rolling her eyes. “Right. Because you only want me.”
Her tone is mocking, but I know she’s at least considering my sincerity.
“I need to know what this secret is she has on you. This thing that’s kept you from clearing your name.”
My head lowers. “That’s literally the one